


all i know is everything has changed

by autumnsoob



Category: TOMORROW X TOGETHER | TXT (Korea Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe - High School, Best Friends, Fluff, Friends to Lovers, Love Alarm, M/M, Swearing, bc i like her but idk her personality, beomgyu is the only braincell, if i tag too much i'm afraid i'll spoil so i'll shut up, is this considered slowburn if they're alr all over e/o, ooc jeon heejin, pls forgive me, some text message format, uh..pining?, whatever that was called
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-08-08
Updated: 2021-02-23
Packaged: 2021-03-06 02:46:56
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 14
Words: 30,392
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25776100
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/autumnsoob/pseuds/autumnsoob
Summary: It was in Choi Soobin’s junior year, and Choi Yeonjun’s senior year, that the Love Alarm was invented and available to download.
Relationships: Choi Soobin/Choi Yeonjun
Comments: 64
Kudos: 308





	1. Prologue

* * *

It was in Choi Soobin’s junior year, and Choi Yeonjun’s senior year—

  
  
  
  


The pair have been friends since they met in middle school and have maintained their friendship in high school, choosing to be admitted to the same school in their city. 

In Yeonjun’s ninth grade, he became the popular kid in his school. Being part of the dance club where he was quickly recognized as quite the best dancer since this famous sunbae Jung Hoseok graduated, it wasn't long until he was known throughout their institution. He’d refused to tell Soobin this though, the younger still in his last year of middle school, he felt as though he’d sound arrogant if he said that he was getting well-known in Soobin’s future school. So he kept it hidden, told him in their nightly calls over the phone that he was getting by, knowing people here and there but still absolutely excited for Soobin to move up and transfer to Yeonjun’s school.

By the next year, Yeonjun was a sophomore, and Soobin a freshman.

Soobin also took part in the school’s dance club, where he’d find out that Yeonjun was absolutely popular in the entire school.

Soobin was aware of the subtle glances people threw their way (not to mention all the people greeting Yeonjun as if he was literally best friends with everybody there) when they walked together to the cafeteria. Soobin was ashamed to admit that at first when he wasn’t getting any explanation for the sudden burst of popularity he was experiencing second hand, he thought that maybe hyung was a ‘badboy’ of sorts, or maybe a delinquent, and people were just being nice to him out of terror. Ah, Soobin’s imagination was _wild_. Turns out Yeonjun was just getting recognition for his dancing. Soobin already knew Yeonjun was an amazing dancer, though. Maybe hyung’s handsomeness helps a lot with the reputation too?

Now, Soobin agrees with that.

  
  


But when he joined the Glee Club, Soobin also slowly gathered attention, no longer as the freshman that was constantly at Yeonjun-sunbae’s side, but as the tall, cool, and handsome boy who impressed the club adviser and other participants with his sweet singing voice.

Throughout the school, Soobin and Yeonjun were a power duo, despite the both not being aware of this status. The pair are well known members of the dance club, and Soobin at the glee club, and both having impressive grades, garnering spots within the top 20 in their school. It’s no secret that a lot of students look their way when they’re spotted at the cafeteria together, or talking to each other before lining up for the usual morning assembly and walking together to their homeroom. Yeonjun always drops Soobin off first before he heads for his own homeroom, speed walking because his room was a floor above Soobin’s.

The students who know them see Soobin as this cool, handsome, polite boy that answers everyone with a dimpled smile, and gets along with anyone. Who can talk to anyone as long as they approach him first, never the one to ignore conversations but one to always warmly reply to questions about him, or Yeonjun-hyung. His teachers also admire his intelligence, with the said boy placing 11th in the school in his ninth grade. Everybody seemed to adore this boy.

And Yeonjun. Yeonjun was this force of a student, always being placed in the team that’s sent for every interdivision schools dance contests, and sometimes going to regional championships. Who looks very unapproachable but, when you get to talk to him for a while, find out that he’s actually very polite and patient. With a brain to match too. 15th place in the school. Not bad at all.

_Eternal bestfriends_ , the two always declared themselves to be. The very textbook definition of true friendship. But—

  
  
  
  


It was in Choi Soobin’s junior year, and Choi Yeonjun’s senior year that the Love Alarm was invented and available to download.


	2. my shoulders have grown to fit perfectly with you (soobin's/yeonjun's)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hey! i'm back! this is my first time trying to write a chaptered fic hehe so pls, i'd appreciate some constructive criticism :>> also! this is a double update :]
> 
> enjoy!

“-even if he was sick at the time?”

Soobin simply nods (he doesn’t know what to answer anymore) at the classmate in front of him that he still doesn’t know the name of, quietly munching on his anpan.

Swallowing, he reaches for his phone to check the time. He still has a lot of time left before the bell rings for the fourth subject. It wasn’t like they were doing much. It’s already nearing summer break and school preparations for moving up are in full swing. The sophomores on the Honor’s List are only attending classes for the sake that their clearance forms be signed. Hell, he doesn’t even have his regular school bag with him. He’d only brought the “ridiculously large wallet” he has, as Yeonjun likes to label it, to fit his money, phone, a small notebook, and his clearance form.

“Soobin-ah!” Ah, speak of the devil.

Yeonjun is peeking through their classroom’s hallway window, waving his hand that’s holding a small milk carton, probably in Soobin’s favorite flavor. It’s like his own way of beckoning Soobin to come outside or go with him; whatever the older boy would feel like doing at the moment.

And  _ of course _ , he’s conscious of the seemingly palpable obsession that the student body has on Yeonjun. Some of his classmates aren’t exceptions, and people in the hallway staring isn’t a hard thing to miss. He’s famous, Yeonjun is absolutely famous in this school. He’s like Regina George famous. Except she’s kinda mean and his hyung is an angel.

But still, it’s also not the type of famous that Soobin sees in young adult movies and books where girls squeal whenever he passes and heads stick out of windows. Although, there is always a distinct murmuring sound every time they go to the cafeteria and pairs of eyes that like to follow their steps.

People would come to ask him about Yeonjun, too, oddly enough. Actually, he’s not sure if it’s even deemed odd. Yeonjun didn’t have anyone he was incredibly close to aside from him. The topic was seemingly always about his availability. Not in the, “what time is he free?”, because why in the world would he always know that (some still ask him about that), but more in the tone of, “is Yeonjun-sunbae single?” or, “what does Yeonjun-sunbae like in a girl?” to which he always says nothing and tells them he has ‘urgent business to attend to’ or whatever his mind is able to supply, and promptly leaves before they can protest about his secrecy.

Shoving his phone into his pouch, as he likes to believe it’s one, and bringing his bread and soda with him, he excuses himself from his seatmate and rises to head outside where the older boy is waiting.

“Hyung, what’s up?”

“Not much, my clearance form’s almost complete.” Answered Yeonjun, handing Soobin the banana-flavored milk he was waving earlier.

“Ah, neat.”

“Did I just hear you say ‘neat’ unironically?”

“Yes, you did. Do you have a problem with that?” Soobin replies, stabbing the straw into the carton with a little more force than necessary.

“No, you nerd. Come with me to the cafeteria.”

“But I was just theeree.” Soobin whines, but he lets Yeonjun take his wrist and drag him all the way anyway.

\--

“Bin-ah, let’s eat at the field.” Yeonjun turns to him after getting his change from the lady at the register. The older boy told him he’d already bought snacks when the bell for lunch first rang and grew hungry again while looking for teachers to sign his form, so here they were, two small paper bags full of bread, other pastries, and juice.

“Okay, let’s pass by the vending machine first.” Soobin agrees.

“You’ve already had soda and milk, let’s maybe slow down on the liquids, hm?” Yeonjun says.

Soobin frowns. “But I’m not full yet.”

“Alright, fine.” The elder concedes, handing Soobin the other paper bag. “Only one, okay? I already bought some for you.”

The taller boy grins, “Thanks, hyung!” Yeonjun jokingly slaps him in the arm.

They walk out of the cafeteria; politely declining some students they knew from their clubs beckoning the two to their tables. Yeonjun opens the glass door for Soobin, to which he thanks him quietly. They walk down the pavement towards the gate in silence, crossing the quiet street to the other part of the campus, passing another gate. A few students by the waiting shed just outside say their hello’s to them; they say hello back. The two joke about how this must be what their teachers and administration feel.

The pair pass by a large green field flanked with age-old acacia trees and catch sight of its leaves rustled by the wind.  _ Scenic _ , Soobin thinks. He almost asks Yeonjun to just sit under one of the trees with him, but decides against it.  _ Maybe another time. _

They walk for a few more seconds and spot the first bench unoccupied (and it’s under a tree’s shade! How lucky!) just outside the gymnasium. They sit down and start eating Yeonjun’s snacks, talking amicably about the school year that passed by without much problem, asking each other their clearance requirements, and what they’re doing at the classroom when their other classmates have the rest of their lectures.

“All we need to worry about now,” scooting closer to Soobin to lay his head on top of his right shoulder, Yeonjun continues, “is how we’ll spend the summer this time.”

He props his head against Yeonjun’s, “I think we’ll still inevitably spend it at the beach. We’ve done it for so long, hyung. I doubt we’ll come up with something else to do now.”

Ever since the two found out that they didn’t exactly live far apart, they’d started spending their summers according to the plans they make before the school year ends. And of course, combining the creativity level of a twelve and eleven year old and the added obstacle of strict parents not permitting long distance travel, their first summer vacation was spent alternating between the arcade and the public pool.

Not the most exciting, but it was better than nothing.

Summer last year they found themselves planning to go to a beach in a district a few train stops away, complete with a packed lunch and everything else. The weather a few days before they were set to go had been perfect, in Soobin’s opinion, and they felt good about the plan. And surprisingly, climate change had been agreeable just for that day where they spent frolicking around. The beach was the best choice for that time, but after spending vacations at bodies of water three consecutive summers, Soobin thinks they should probably think of something else already.

“Alright, let’s agree to do everything else except bodies of water.” Yeonjun decides.

“But I was thinking we could ride our bikes by Han river.”

“Everything else except actually going into bodies of water.”

“Deal.” Soobin acquiesces, lifting his head for a moment to bump it against Yeonjun hard enough to warrant a reaction. Yeonjun only laughs fondly at him.

\--

The two sit in the quiet for a while, watching the seniors practice their march at the field. The sky has darkened considerably, and the air is growing more humid every minute.

Neither make a move to tell the other they want to go back to the classes they don’t need to attend anymore.

Yeonjun shifts his head to look at Soobin who’s staring blankly into the distance. His lips are in its natural pout, his eyebrows lightly pinched, as if he’s about to say something. But he remains quiet. Yeonjun does too.

Yeonjun first knew Soobin when he saw the boy sitting quietly on the swings in the middle of the semester of his eighth grade. He had been curious if the cute boy with full cheeks didn’t have any friends if he looked that lonely eating his snacks.

Now he observes the younger boy, something, he realizes, he’s never done before. He notices his hair that’s grown past his eyes, naturally parting by the middle from Soobin’s large hand going through the strands every few minutes, his nose somewhat scrunching up every now and then. He’s probably thinking about something. Yeonjun doesn’t have a single clue to what it’s about.

His best friend has grown into his features. He doesn’t look as scrawny as he did in early middle school, and he’s not as awkward with his height anymore. Oh, and his eyelashes look nice. His cheeks still have baby fat, too. Yeonjun bets Soobin’s cheeks are still as stretchy as ever. It’s been a while since he’d messed with Soobin’s face. It’s his favorite physical trait of the younger that not a lot of people know about.

A memory comes back to Yeonjun of when they were much younger.

It was an incredibly hot day outside, and the two boys were out at Yeonjun’s porch, eating popsicles to help fight the incredible heat Seoul was giving them. Yeonjun sat cross-legged, body facing Soobin and his back leaning against the porch column.

“Bin-ah, has anyone ever told you you look like a mochi?”

Soobin was sitting cross-legged also, facing the street a few meters in front of them. He’s eating a blueberry flavored popsicle.  _ How boring _ , Yeonjun thought.  _ He could’ve gotten like a strawberry or whatever. He keeps choosing that _ boring _ flavor _ .

“Mochi? Not that I remember, no. Why?”

The older boy reaches up to poke and pinch Soobin’s left cheek, unmindful of the fact that his fingers are gross and sticky because of the dessert melting a bit too quickly for his liking. Eh, Soobin will have to deal with that.

“Eugh! Hyung, gross-” Soobin complains.

“Your cheeks are really stretchy, no? I was hoping you wouldn’t outgrow them. That you’d stay stretchy forever and I’d annoy you because I won’t stop pinching your face.” He says with a smile.

“I’ll let you pinch them whenever you like, hyung. Just wash your filthy hands first.”

  
  
  


He raises his right hand to try it out.

Yeah, it’s still stretchy.

Soobin is taken out of his thoughts when he feels Yeonjun nip at his cheek. Yeonjun smiles innocently up at him.

Soobin smiles back at him. “Let’s go thrifting this summer, hyung.”

“Really?” Yeonjun lights up, “Will you finally let hyung choose your clothes?”

“Uh, yes. Sure.”

“You’ll love it. I’ve already thought about what to make you wear. Give me your arm.”

Soobin looks a bit confused ( _ cute _ ), but he lays his arm across Yeonjun’s lap anyway.

“Do you have any more ideas about what to do this summer?” He asks, playing with the younger boy’s arm, seeing if it still stretches well. It does.

“Not right now, no. I’ve still only thought about thrifting. Sleeping over at your house is a given, though.”

“Of course it is.” Yeonjun links their arms after he’s played with Soobin’s, “We’ll think more about what to do when you call tonight or when you sleep over, hm?”

“Alright, hyung.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> leave a kudos or a comment! :3
> 
> chapter title: 20cm by txt


	3. no matter where you are, no matter what season (yeonjun's)

The first week of summer vacation met Soobin and Yeonjun with a storm, so they decided to stay put in their own houses for the time being. Of course, their nightly calls have not ceased, instead they’d added more calls at odd times of the day.

Once, Soobin called Yeonjun’s home phone because apparently, the younger boy couldn't reach his cell. He’d called him at exactly 3 o’clock in the afternoon asking how to potty train a puppy (Soobin said his brother brought home a puppy and left immediately because he needed to go pick their mom up, and Soobin was very excited at the promise of having a puppy to take care of, that he immediately called Yeonjun and said the first thing he thought of into the receiver). Yeonjun did teach him what he did when he was still training their dog, which led to them talking for two hours because of their all too natural flow of conversation.

“Hyung, we’ve talked for two hours. Are we still going for a call tonight?”

“Yes, I need you to sing me to sleep. I woke up at 5 am and then accidentally fell asleep around lunchtime, and now I’m pretty sure I’ll have to force myself to sleep early.”

“But, whyyy? We don’t have classes. Why do you need to wake up early? And what good is my singing voice for it?” Soobin whines.

“I need to workout, little Choi. You should join me sometime.”

“No thanks. I’ll sing you to sleep.”

Yeonjun laughs. Soobin can be cute sometimes.

Another time, Soobin had called him over two hours after they’d put their call down and Yeonjun had already pulled down his sleep mask over his eyes, waiting for sleep to take over.

When Yeonjun was jolted awake by his phone ringing, he thought his sleep felt suspiciously short and that his alarm didn’t sound like his alarm. Peeking under his sleep mask, he saw the caller ID display ‘Soobin 🤖’ and immediately thought the worst before scrambling to fully take off his mask and swiping his screen to answer the call.

“Hello?” Yeonjun knows he sounds frenetic but right now he couldn’t bring himself to think about it. “Soobin-ah, are you okay? Is something wrong?”

“Oh! Hyungie, no, nothing’s wrong. I’m so sorry I woke you up and worried you, I just called because I couldn’t sleep.” Ah, Yeonjun can hear the pout in his voice.

“Thank god, I thought something bad had happened.”

“I’m really sorry, hyung!”

“You don’t have to apologize, bun. It’s okay. What’s up? Why can’t you sleep?”

Soobin stays silent for a moment.

Yeonjun has gotten calls like this from Soobin before. Oftentimes the things he calls about he doesn’t immediately tell, he just cries to Yeonjun. He does tell him eventually, saying that he had a bad dream and called Yeonjun immediately. Yeonjun doesn’t ask why he gets the dreams.

“I don’t know. I wanna sleep over but, well, it’s raining hard and I can’t exactly wake my mom up and ask her to drive me over there.”

Only then did Yeonjun turn his head to his window and notice the rain pouring heavily. The weather forecast said this storm was going to pass in two days, but just hearing the intensity of its downpour, he doubts it.

“Should I go over there? I’ll walk. Umbrellas exist, you know.”

“Oh my god, hyung, no-” Soobin pauses, “Let’s just talk for a little bit, okay? No need to do brash actions.”

“I’d do it if you say yes. I’ll just leave mom and dad a note.” He argues anyway. 

“Jun-hyung, please.” Soobin sounds defeated so Yeonjun decides to yield. 

“Alright, alright. Do you want me to sing you to sleep?” 

“I’m fine, hyungie.” 

“Are you doubting my voice, Soobin?” He teases the younger. 

“No, no! Not at all, gosh, let’s just go to sleep.” 

Yeonjun heartily laughs. His parents won’t hear him talk with the sound of the rain, anyway. “Put your phone on loudspeaker and place it on your nightstand, bun. I’ll sing you to sleep.”

Yeonjun hears ruffling from the other end. For once in their friendship, Yeonjun is surprised that Soobin is immediately doing what Yeonjun tells him to without protest. “But hyuuung,” Ah, there it is.

“Don’t say no, baby.”

“I’m not a baby.”

“Just put your phone down already. I’m singing for you.”

“Fine.” Soobin grunts. When he hears the phone hit a solid surface, he starts singing to Soobin. Now, all that’s great, but the first song that came to Yeonjun’s mind was this song called “friend to lover”, and without much thought he sang it to him. It’s not that he intended to sing the song and mean the lyrics, it was just the first song that came to his mind and he’s been listening to it on repeat. He hopes Soobin doesn’t mind it too much.

Maybe he’s thinking excessively about this.

He ends the call when he hears Soobin’s soft snores.

\--

They finally see each other three days later, when Soobin is calling Yeonjun again at seven am on a Monday. When Yeonjun ignores the last ring, Soobin leaves a text saying he’s “at your doorstep and I’m about to throw rocks at your window because I’ve rang your phone three times now and you’re not answering”.

Yeonjun frantically throws on his sweatpants but forgoes a tshirt because he’s wasted seconds already. He knows Soobin  _ will _ throw rocks at his window if he doesn’t get to the door in a few seconds.

“Hey– Soobin, no!” He dashes outside when he sees Soobin in the act of crouching down to pick up a rock.

“Oh, hyung, you’re awake. Wait, no! Let’s get inside, you're not wearing anything!” The younger exclaims, pushing him back inside his house.

“Sorry for the intrusion~” Soobin says loudly at the empty house, taking off his shoes and putting on slides. 

“I’m home alone, Bin.”

“Oh, then I’ll let myself in.”

“Stop acting like it’s your first time here. Just drop your bag at my room already.”

“It’s called manners, hyung,” Soobin sticks his tongue out at him. How mature. “I’ll get you a shirt.”

He rolls his eyes good-naturedly. “Thanks. I’ll make us breakfast.”

He didn’t mean to do it, but Yeonjun kept taking peeks at Soobin when the younger one was looking away. Well, not like you could blame much of it on Yeonjun. Soobin looks positively different.

For starters, he has an undercut now, something Yeonjun didn’t know Soobin ever considered having. And hell, does it look good on him. He’s wearing a black T shirt with a faded print, light wash jeans, and his old Vans sneakers. Yeonjun has never thought a simple outfit would look this great.

_ Okay, wow, breakfast, Yeonjun? Remember you were supposed to make breakfast? _

That particular morning felt different. Yeonjun feels different but he couldn’t explicitly point out why.

The fridge didn’t have a lot in it except eggs and a few other things. Yeonjun supposes that’s why his mom left a list of something and some money in his wallet; she wants him to do the grocery.

“Soobin-ah! I’m cooking eggs, do you want rice with it?” He shouts towards the general direction of his room, picking up 4 eggs and shutting the fridge door close.

“Yes, please,” Soobin replies, walking into the kitchen, “Quite hungry from walking all the way here.”

Yeonjun scoffs. “Look, just because I slept while you were on your way here doesn’t mean I’ll just easily believe that you actually walked six blocks.”

“Alright, alright,” Soobin puts his hands up, like an act of surrender, and takes a seat at the kitchen island. “It’s been a while since I ate anything you cooked, hyung. Can I trust this time I won’t want to spit it out from the abundance of salt?”

Yeonjun throws a pinch of salt at Soobin. Surely that’s enough for the devil. “Asshole, how’s that for abundance of salt.” He says, grinning widely.

\--

Yeonjun finishes cooking after a few minutes. He turns the stove off and goes to get a plate for the omelette, before placing it in front of Soobin. He was about to sit down when he remembered his coffee. He walks back to the counter where the coffee machine was and looks out the window overlooking their backyard.

How quaint. A slight drizzle on the garden outside, the sunlight filtering through the leaves of their tree, and two best friends having breakfast together; Yeonjun’s sure now that this must be a coming-of-age film of some sort. He only hopes the soundtrack isn’t too awful. Because if it was, he’d like to recommend T--

“Hyung,”

Yeonjun is broken out of his thoughts.

“What do you think we should do today?” Soobin asks him.

Yeonjun blinks once, twice, before he turns around with his mug in his hand and sits on the chair in front of Soobin. Absentmindedly, he stabs a piece of his omelette and eats it. “Huh, this doesn’t taste bad. I don’t know. Help me with grocery later, why don’t you?”

“Alright. And then what, after that?”

“Do you want to do something?”

“No, not really.”

“Let’s just lie in bed, if you’re sure you don’t want to do anything.”

“Ha. Sounds like heaven.”

\--

And they did. They spent the rest of the morning until a little after noon on Yeonjun’s bed, his rnb playlist playing softly on his speakers.

During the summer when they’d have unavoidably used up the best of their abilities to come up with a vacation plan, they either spend it at Yeonjun’s room or backyard. It’s not such an unusual event in the summer, so their parents have stopped asking where their sons are.  _ They’re probably just at the other’s house _ . And right now, with no solid vacation plans, the two boys have stuck themselves to relaxing and letting sleep slowly creep over them.

Yeonjun notices movement to his right, turning his head towards Soobin who’s changing his position, his head parallel to Yeonjun’s feet. He peers over his shoulder to look at Soobin who has his eyes closed and arms splayed out. This should feel creepy. He’s staring at someone that has no idea.

But he can’t help it. Yeonjun hadn’t taken the time to  _ really _ look at Soobin since he arrived that morning. Aside from the fact that the younger one had gotten an undercut just fairly recently, his locks seeming almost brown in the 3 o’clock sun’s glow, his cheeks have also lost a bit of baby fat. Something that the older boy is sad about but doesn’t mind because he still has his stretchy dough skin.  _ We haven’t seen each other for only a week, how has he lost that much for me to notice? _ Yeonjun thinks to himself. Maybe he was just observant when it came to Soobin.

If all of those weren’t enough to warrant Yeonjun’s lingering gaze , then it’d have to be Soobin’s clothes.

Honestly speaking, it’s nothing too flashy nor fashionable. He’s seen it all day but Yeonjun swears that it looks really good in his eyes.

Yeonjun sighs and turns his head back to laying it face flat against the bedspread.

“You’ve gotten handsome, Soobin-ah.” Yeonjun suddenly speaks, the words already past his mouth before he could even get his brain to work, the sound a bit muffled to his ears. He hopes Soobin heard it just fine, but he also hopes he didn’t just so Soobin would ask what it was and Yeonjun would be presented with an escape by saying it was nothing.

“Hmm, thanks hyung.”  _ Darn. _ “I guess you’re also not that bad looking.” Soobin moved his head again, this time resting it against Yeonjun’s arse. “ And don’t fart. Please.”

“I’m more handsome than you.”

“I’ll grow into my features more, hyung.”

“You already have.”

He feels Soobin move around again. “What’s with the compliments, really? Do you want some type of favor from me? Is that why?” Yeonjun thinks he’s sitting up now.

“I just wanted to compliment you, dipshit.” Yeonjun turns his head and finds Soobin already looking at him.

“Ah, well. Thanks.” Soobin says after a few moments, rather bashfully and eyes looking everywhere but at Yeonjun’s.

Soobin lies back down.

And Yeonjun feels his face heat up.

\--

Yeonjun doesn’t remember falling asleep but apparently he did, since he would wake up a few hours later to a dark room, the faint smell of his mom’s cooking, and Soobin’s light pinches to his neck.

“Are you a child? Stop doing that.” Yeonjun swats his hand away.

Over dinner, Yeonjun tells his parents that Soobin is sleeping over. It wasn’t something that was too surprising, Soobin goes to their house all the time. The only thing that’s stopping the boy from living there is his lack of house keys.

And of course, Yeonjun goes over to Soobin’s house a lot too. But Soobin keeps telling him he would rather stay at the elder’s house. “Hyung’s bed is bigger than mine” is what he claims. They sleep at Soobin’s whenever they lose track of time playing video games and have no choice but to sleep on the younger’s twin XL bed.

“Don’t think we’ll be able to go to sleep until well in the morning now, huh?” Yeonjun has just gotten out of the shower to find Soobin already in sleep clothes and playing some game on his phone, headphones and all that. Or maybe he’s just on YouTube, the obvious Soobin move. “What are you doing?”

“Kai could be Houtarou, don’t you think? I mean, they’ve the opposite personalities but they look alike.” Soobin says, eyes still glued to the screen, but a side of his headphones pushed to the back of his ear to continue hearing what the older boy is saying.

“Who? Dry my hair for me, please.” He walks over and hands Soobin his towel. The younger sits up and takes it, letting Yeonjun sit on the floor between his legs. Soobin still doesn’t have the show on pause.

“Kai as in Kai Kamal Huening? You don’t know him?”

Yeonjun lets his head relax while Soobin distractedly tries to dry his hair; not completely unpleasant, but enough to be disconcerting. “Of course I know Kai, idiot. And pause your anime please, or you’d twist my head into unscrewing itself from my neck.”

“Bossy.” He adjusts his movements to a milder version of what he was doing earlier. “I think you’d like Hyouka, hyung. You like mysteries and shit like that, right? We should watch it.”

“We have the whole summer to do that.” Yeonjun lets his eyes fall close. “Actually, I might fall asleep like this.”

“Doubt it. Sleep will disappear from your mind the moment you open your phone.”

“And I’ll refute that, thank you very much,” Yeonjun snatches the towel from Soobin’s hands, “In fact, I’ll sleep right now.”

“Nooo, let’s watch a few episodes before we sleep, please?” Ah, there he goes again with his pout.

So, they watched a few episodes. Soobin did have to restart his binge-watching so Yeonjun could catch up to whatever was happening, but the taller boy had fallen asleep by the fifth episode, so Yeonjun had to rid his bed of their snacks and his laptop to let Soobin sleep comfortably.

“Did you even take a nap in the afternoon, hm?” Yeonjun whispers, also getting under the covers.

\-- 

The sound of rain pattering against the window wakes Yeonjun up first. The dim sky makes it fairly difficult to tell the time, but he guesses it’s still around 5 am. He stares at the ceiling and listens to the noise outside for a while. Closing and opening his eyes for indefinite amounts of time, trying to wake himself up. He turns his gaze to the window, but the window looks a bit different from where Yeonjun is seeing it.

Blindly reaching over to his right, his arm is met with two limbs, oh, it’s Soobin.

Ah, Yeonjun is lying upside down.

He starts to tickle Soobin’s feet in hopes of the younger also waking up but stops abruptly , thinking;  _ he might kick me if I carry on with this. _ Instead, Yeonjun sits up, and spots his phone on top of his bedside drawer. He would take it even if he wasn’t going to do anything important. But the thing was, he had to reach over Soobin’s head to retrieve it.

Not that there’s anything wrong with it. Just that he didn’t want to wake the younger up, yet.

_ Right. And you tickled his feet just because? _

He plants his left hand by Soobin’s head and hovers over him to grab his phone. He’s just able to grasp it when a pair of arms snake around his middle and pulls him down, causing him to lie on his side, facing the culprit, still holding his cellphone.

“Stop moving, hyung. I’m sure it’s still early.” Soobin mumbles against Yeonjun’s shoulder.

There’s an odd comparison brewing in Yeonjun’s mind that includes Soobin’s half-asleep murmuring, and the warm breeze in the summer. He can’t hear anything other than the other’s breathing and his own heartbeat pulsing in his ears.  _ Fuck, my ears feel so warm. _

He doesn’t want to believe the close proximity of the two is the reason he’s burning up already, because they’ve obviously already cuddled before. And he doesn’t exactly see anything peculiar with it. So why is he blushing? Perhaps something changed, then?

Does he like Soobin?

Is that it?

He has a crush on his best friend?

For a minute, he just savors the experience. It was quite ridiculous, liking Soobin just because he looked a bit different. Closing his eyes, he tries so hard to listen for the sound of rain because all he can hear is Soobin breathing quietly. Carefully, he wraps his free arm around Soobin’s shoulders, pulling him closer.  _ How unfortunately cliché you are, Yeonjun. First, the movie scene in the kitchen. Now, thinking you’re falling in love with your best friend. _

Only when he feels the other boy’s lips pressing lightly against his exposed collar bone that he hears the soft patter of the rain against the glass, slowly, steadily growing stronger.

“Yeah,” he breathes out, “It’s still six in the morning, Bin-ah. Go back to sleep.”

He hopes Soobin does, because Yeonjun’s heart is beating so fast and his soul feels like leaving his body.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hey! i hope you enjoyed that :p
> 
> i'm not sure when i'll be able to post the next update. maybe in 2 weeks? i'm not too sure. uni is working hard to crack my skull open and october is proving to be my busiest month.
> 
> please wait for me!! \\(^3^)/
> 
> leave a comment and a kudos!!
> 
> *the song that Yeonjun was gonna recommend is Tomorrow, Today by JJ Project  
> *the anime Soobin was watching is titled Hyouka
> 
> chapter title: our summer by txt


	4. if we are together, feel like summer (yeonjun's)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i'm back!
> 
> i wanted to post this in advance because i'm quite excited to post the chapter that's after this!! and because i'm terribly busy and i wanted to post this while i still had enough time to not feel guilty asdkjfh
> 
> enjoy!
> 
> ps. english is my third language so if anything sounds weird, i'll have to apologize in advance T^T

They’re on a bus heading downtown the next day. Soobin is on the seat in front of Yeonjun, slightly lower than his own, allowing him to play with the younger’s hair. The open window to Yeonjun’s far right is letting in the nicest warm air and sunlight that Yeonjun doesn’t even have it in him to get mad over the fact that he’s not seated next to Soobin. And though it doesn't exactly feel like it, it feels a lot like a date. 

Ah, don't get him wrong, Yeonjun’s never experienced being on one. The only dates he’d gone on were in the dramas he’s watched, and somehow, even with the inexperience, it still feels so much like a date.

_ You’re still just on the bus, Yeonjun. Calm down a bit, yeah? _

When the person next to Soobin gets off just a stop after where they got on, Yeonjun immediately pushes the younger to the now empty seat and proceeds to occupy Soobin’s former spot, the seat still warm.

“Warm ass.”

“I think I’d be dead if it wasn’t.”

"Okay, smartass."

Yeonjun notes that Soobin has gotten considerably broader, when he settles his head against the other boy’s shoulder.  _ I suppose he’s not going to stop growing yet _ . But Yeonjun doesn’t want that to happen. He wants himself to be taller than Soobin. And bigger too. The last time he’d checked, his hands had already stopped growing and were just a few millimeters longer than Soobin’s. He takes Soobin’s hand in his to compare the two, letting the other boy talk in the background. He’ll have to apologize to the younger for not listening. He needs to know if Soobin’s weird growth spurt was still going on.

“-wasn’t the cameraman being the murderer miles better than whatever that writer-”

Yeonjun unintentionally, he swears, interrupts Soobin. “It’s not supposed to be like this!”

The younger one is, of course, understandably surprised, torso lifting off the seat’s backrest in his confusion, “What’s what? Huh?”

He grips Soobin’s wrist to pull their palms that are flat against each other up to eye level. “My hands aren’t supposed to be smaller!”

“Huh?” Soobin furrows his eyebrows, lips forming into a small pout, “Why not?”

“Because I’m older and stronger!”

Soobin plops back harshly against the seat, rolling his eyes, “I’m going to throw you off this bus, hyung.”

Yeonjun lets go of Soobin’s hand with a little more force than usual, trying to show he’s upset at the discovery.  _ No, I'm not _ .  _ In fact, I love it _ . No, he doesn’t.  _ Yes, I do. _

“Soobin-aahh, stop growing already.” Yeonjun goes back to resting his head on the other boy’s shoulder again.

“I hope I do. I don’t wanna stick out too much with this height.” He can hear the pout in Soobin’s voice. “Hyung,” Soobin also leans his head against Yeonjun’s, “I’m already 180 centimeters. I don’t wanna grow taller. How do I do that?”

“Don’t worry about that, Bin. I’ll just grow as tall as you then I’ll be with you everywhere so that it won’t be as awkward.” He smiles warmly up at Soobin.

“Hyuungg~”

“Soobin, seriously, your height is one of your many charms, as cringey it is to admit. Who would ever expect this giant of a man to be the cutest person alive-” Yeonjun stops himself. He lets his embarrassing declaration hang in the air for a second, thinking of letting Soobin mull over his words but hoping he doesn’t think too much on the implication. He continues immediately after anyway, “Don’t be too sad about it, okay?”

Yeonjun hears Soobin hum his agreement, whereafter the boys stay quiet. He’s sure the younger’s still going to be awkward about his height. A few words isn’t going to change his mind, Yeonjun especially knows this.

“Hey,” Yeonjun gingerly takes his hand, “you okay?”

He’s glad when he hears a smile between Soobin’s words. “Yeah, hyung. I’m okay. Let’s enjoy today, hmm?”

Yeonjun nods his head quite harshly, bumping into Soobin a few times, making the younger boy retreat his head before Yeonjun could do any more damage to the both of them. Their faces break out into a wide smile when they make eye contact before they’re dissolved in fits of laughter.

\--

The thrift shop they were in right now is displaying a lot of clothes that quite nicely match Yeonjun’s style. And to be honest, Yeonjun wants to try at least 60% of them before they move to another store, but he knows he shouldn’t do it. Because aside from the fact that he’d done so much shopping on his own already just a month ago, he’d made himself promise that he was here to help Soobin shop for his own, and so he held himself back.

“Hyung, doesn’t this store feel like it was built for you?” Soobin asks, looking around.

Well he’s not wrong. They mostly find coats of different sizes and skinny jeans amongst other shirts that Yeonjun would definitely see himself wearing whether to dance practice or hangouts. He looks around, maybe he’d find something that Soobin would like and be comfortable in, seeing as the younger is wearing track pants and the biggest oversized white tee Yeonjun has ever seen. 

Now, now, Yeonjun didn't say he didn't look good in them.

_ I mean, ha ha. _

“Bin-ah, find anything you like?” He asks Soobin who’s a few clothes racks away.

“I’m trying to find a whole outfit but I can’t find any black ripped jeans.”

“Tell me what outfit you’re trying to form, first.”

Soobin leaves the jeans pile and heads over to where Yeonjun can only assume the plaids are.

“Bro, Soobin, it’s not 2014, why are you heading towards the plaid shirts-”

“Hyung-nim, you can kindly shut up now.”

  
  


\--

  
  


They spend a few more hours after at different stores, going out of each one with one more bag in their arms. Yeonjun wasn’t able to resist ending their shopping spree empty so he went and bought himself a few coats and shirts that he liked, much to Soobin’s teasing about his savings.

Hungry from walking all morning, the two decide on having their lunch at a cafe just a few steps away from the first store they went to. They chose a table for two by the glass window, giving them a good view of the thrift shop district getting busier. 

A few people give them looks. Yeonjun wants to think it’s because Soobin looks quite handsome today. But he thinks it’s probably because they’re wondering why two boys look like they’re on a date.

As if it’s their goddamn business .

It’s a relief that Soobin doesn’t pay it any mind. Perhaps Yeonjun is only conscious of their stares because he knows it in himself that he’s possibly attracted to the boy sitting in front of him.

Yes, Yeonjun finally admits that maybe he does like the boy. Or if not, find him absolutely attractive enough that he could harbor feelings for him. It’s not the best thing, Yeonjun finds out, falling in love with your best friend. Or whatever this feeling he's feeling is called. He understands that he has to try his best to cover up his feelings for Soobin because he has no way of finding out if the younger even saw him in that light.

And besides, they’re just feelings. They’ll go away in like, a week. Just like with every other crush Yeonjun ever had.

Their orders come in after a few minutes, the both of them making idle talk. He notices Soobin taking out a small notebook from that ridiculously large wallet of his, and a pen with it too. He wonders what they’re for.

“Why do you have that with you?”

Soobin says that when he sees something he wants to do during this summer he’s going to write it down so he won’t forget them.

“Cool. What did you see then?”

“Someone rode past us on a bike with the little basket in front. I wanna do that too.”

“Oh, haven’t you mentioned something like that just a few weeks ago?” Soobin nods. “Something like riding our bikes by the river? You wanna do that?”

  
  


Soobin gives him that smile of his, the “unintentionally healing and comforting” smile, as Yeonjun dubs it. “If hyung doesn’t mind, I’d like to.”

“What are you talking about, Soobinie? Of course I don’t mind. It sounds fun.”

The younger writes it in his notebook, humming a bit, probably thinking of more ways to spend the vacation. “What do you think of movie night?”

“Don’t we already do that every other week?” Yeonjun says, forking his carbonara.

“Yeah, but, this time let’s have a list ready of movies to watch. I don’t wanna spend too much time surfing through Netflix.”

“Wanna help me decorate my room, then? Like build a fort and shit?”

“Waaah,” Soobin wrote in his notebook immediately. Seems like he really likes the idea of fairy lights and blanket forts. “I like that idea, hyung.”

Fairy lights and blanket forts. Gosh, could Soobin get anymore endearing? Yeonjun’s already excited. “What else should we do? We should have one more thing to do!”

Yeonjun is nearly vibrating in his seat, thinking of what he could add to Soobin’s list while chewing his food.

“Oh, I know!” Soobin suddenly pipes up after a few minutes of contemplation, “Remember that cafe I told you about, hyung? The one that’s next to that quaint cat themed bookshop that I always go to?”

Quaint. Huh.

“Yeah, I remember you told me about it.” Yeonjun lets a smile creep up his face, remembering Soobin’s eager tellings of wherever he ends up on his walks around the city.

“Let’s go there, hyung!” 

“Which one? The bookshop or the cafe?” 

“Let’s go to the cafe and bring a book there!”

He couldn’t resist gazing fondly at the other boy, whose lips are stretched widely into that smile that Yeonjun has found himself longing for, dimples on full display and eyes disappearing into crescent moons that could never make you resist doing anything he wants.

He’d give Soobin all the time in the world if he could.

“Sure, Bin. Let’s do that.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> that's it for now!! hope you enjoyed that!
> 
> leave a kudos or a comment if you did!
> 
> see u next update ~(-o-)~
> 
> *chapter title: our summer by txt


	5. i like the feeling of being with you (yeonjun's)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hey it's your favorite mess of a person! i'm back!!
> 
> ok i'm not your favorite i know that >.< N E WAY txt just released minisode1's album preview as i was about to edit and post this chapter and i had to freak out @ twt abt it first.
> 
> enjoy!!

Biking along the river in the 6 pm sun was probably the best decision Yeonjun has made so far during that day. 

Soobin earlier was going to suggest starting at five but Yeonjun had rightfully protested that it would still probably be too hot for it. And good for both of them. The sun was still somewhat high above the horizon, but the glare wasn’t harsh enough to have them squinting too much.

Strangely, there weren’t a lot of people loitering around. _This should be perfect for Soobin._

He looks ahead of him where the said boy is pedalling languidly, looking to his side once or twice to admire the view, and looking back at the road afterwards.

This kind of scenery wasn’t doing the best things for his supposed crush on the boy. It appears too similar to what his mind thinks of while reading books. It’s such an awfully serene still frame and Yeonjun would not doubt if he was going to feel himself falling embarrassingly deeper for the boy in a few seconds.

All the thoughts of liking Soobin plaguing his mind whenever he’s presented with a quiet environment didn’t seem too bad. If only Yeonjun had any assurance that they’d go away in hopefully a few weeks from now, he wouldn’t be thinking obsessively about everything the younger boy does. He knows that it seems like the only person he’s convincing with the ‘it’ll go away’ talk is himself. He’s probably already told himself that a few hundred times ever since he’d found out about his feelings towards Soobin. 

However curiously, his heart is still not beating in the way he’d expected someone who has a crush would.

Yeonjun doesn’t notice Soobin slowly halting despite the former staring ahead. He notices when he catches him in the corner of his eye when he passes by him, so he stops pedalling and eases on the hand brake. He’s about to yell at Soobin the moment he turns around, but the words stop at his throat when he sees him look so peaceful staring at the water. 

He fights the smile on his face when he turns around on his bicycle and pedals slowly back to Soobin, who doesn’t seem to realize that Yeonjun had also been too distracted to notice him stopping. 

Yeonjun follows Soobin’s gaze and understands why. 

Sunset viewing wasn’t anything new to the two. But there was something different about this one that Yeonjun is having a hard time putting into a coherent string of words. The golden sun reflecting upon the water and bouncing off into Yeonjun’s eyes; something about it takes Yeonjun back to that one morning in his kitchen with Soobin. The sun, this time, still taking half of his attention, and the other half on the other boy.

He lets a few minutes go by completely silent, merely sneaking peeks at the boy beside him.

\--

Soobin decides to hold their movie night four days after the bike ride. Yeonjun agrees. He doesn’t have any pre-planned outings with anybody else, anyway. He had just finished laying out the materials on top of his bed that they needed for decorating his room when he hears Soobin announce his arrival with a “honey, I’m home!” somewhere in the house. _Probably from the doorway_. Yeonjun shouts his whereabouts back.

When he hears the door to his room creak open, he sidesteps and lets Soobin do what he always does when he steps inside Yeonjun’s bedroom: leap on the bed.

And that’s what he did. Of course, Yeonjun had to hastily clear out his bed the moment he heard Soobin’s arrival, because he already knew the other boy’s routine, and because the bed’s contents had never stopped him before. During the first times Yeonjun had formed a habit of keeping his snacks on the small space left on his bedside table and never on his bed anymore despite Soobin not even being in his house. To be fair, he thinks it’s quite a good habit to form.

“Come on,” He says, tugging at Soobin’s arm to get him to move, “Help me decorate my room.”

After setting up the multiple blankets (that Yeonjun, somehow, _all_ owns) to form a tent on the floor, and Soobin has plugged in the very cliché yet somehow mandatory soft yellow fairy lights, they were ready to start their movie marathon.

The first movie they both chose to watch was Howl’s Moving Castle, per Soobin’s request, and because Yeonjun has never seen it before. Shocker. He’d gotten a quarter of hell from Soobin for that. If he remembers correctly he’s only seen Spirited Away from the dozens of films that that studio had put out. But hey, sue him, he’s never been interested in anime until he met Choi Soobin.

Around 30 minutes into the film Yeonjun gets why it’s popular, and why Soobin put it first on the list to watch. The film was very scenic, and the characters so quirky; he recognizes Calcifer because Soobin has a coaster of the character that Yeonjun always uses whenever he’s over at their house. Soobin really made a good decision by starting the marathon at nine in the evening with the decorations in his room. Yeonjun feels like falling asleep from the mood.

Soobin pauses the film for a bit to go pee. While waiting for him to come back, Yeonjun checks out their makeshift tent.

It’s not that he could say they’re the best at it, but Yeonjun thinks that they’d done a great job in making it stay up. With the help of a few messy masking tapes, of course. The fairy lights are above the roof of their fort so it wasn’t too harsh on their eyes. Yeonjun’s two spare comforters are laid on top of each other and all his pillows are just within an arm’s reach beside them. He, himself, also doesn’t understand how he has a surplus of beddings, but it’s an added bonus for sleepovers so he doesn’t complain. 

Soobin comes back after a while of Yeonjun just spacing out, and lies down next to him, _somehow_ pressed even closer than before. Before Yeonjun could suck in a breath to hold, Soobin sits up to press play for a second, and lies back down, this time to settle his head on Yeonjun’s chest.

That was it. That was Yeonjun’s ‘no thoughts head empty’ moment.

He now has to exert effort to stay focused on the movie and not Soobin’s shampoo smell. And he feels so bad because the story is great and the animation so easy to his eyes but everytime he takes a breath, all he thinks about is _Soobin, Soobin,_ Soobin. It doesn’t help that he can’t change his position because he doesn’t want the younger to go back to lying beside him.

“Hyung, you can still see the movie, right?”

Of course the correct answer is yes, because he _does_ have a very good view of the screen, but you see, he’s not quite _seeing_ the movie. Soobin’s hair tickling his chin and his hands softly playing with the hem of Yeonjun’s pajama top is remarkably messing with his mind (more specifically, his sanity).

The film finishes and Yeonjun is glad he still had half his consciousness left to understand what happened. He doesn’t quite want to disappoint Soobin this time. He asks the younger if there were other movies like the one they just watched that had a similar feeling, Soobin tells him that it wasn’t in the initial list but that they could watch Ponyo if he wanted. And they did. This time though, Yeonjun made sure to move first and rest his head on Soobin's lap, so he could focus more on the movie and not on the younger’s adorable hair whorl and minty shampoo.

More than an hour later after the movie’s finished and Yeonjun is feeling pleasant, he turns over to ask why Soobin’s been quiet all this time, only to find him fast asleep. He smiles softly.

“How do you keep doing this, Soobin-ah?” Yeonjun whispers, carefully sitting up.

He gently shakes Soobin awake, asking if he wants to move to the bed to sleep. The younger, still half asleep, instead asks if the movie’s over already. Yeonjun lets his smile grow wider and presents Soobin the screen showing the credits rolling.

“Mmh,” Soobin grumbles.

“You wanna sleep here?” Yeonjun asks.

“Mmh.”

Laughing softly, Yeonjun asks Soobin to lie properly on his back. Soobin complies easily. _He must really be sleepy_ , Yeonjun thinks. He looks through the list Soobin made for their movie marathon and sees a few titles he’s heard of and a few he’s unfamiliar with. _He made a list of five movies and fell asleep on the unplanned one._ He laughs quietly.

\--

They continue watching when Yeonjun wakes up roughly six hours later and Soobin is already up and scrolling through Twitter. Yeonjun asks Soobin if he wants to watch Ponyo or just move to the next movie, to which the younger replies that it was okay because he’s seen the movie already anyway.

After the next four movies, Soobin helps Yeonjun take down their fort and put the pillows back in Yeonjun’s closet for bed linens. Soobin tells him he’s like a grandmother with the amount of blankets and pillow cases he has in his closet. Yeonjun only sticks his tongue out at him.

They’re bidding each other goodbye a few minutes later, after Soobin had had his massive lunch from Yeonjun’s mom and a call from his own asking if Soobin wanted to be picked up. Yeonjun walks back to his room after watching Soobin’s family car pull out from their driveway.

Yeonjun is lying on his bed, trying to think of his behavior from the past weeks. He doesn’t want to think about it, but he also can’t outright ignore it. He likes boys. Well, one boy in particular. Yeonjun is maybe about 20% gay because he only likes Soobin. That’s how it works, right? And he’s not sure what to do with the information. Sure, maybe he could tell Soobin about his feelings. He’s always been comfortable with telling the younger anything.

Except this time he couldn’t. Nor is he ever going to. Who in their right mind would confess to someone so early into a crush who doesn’t even make their heart beat fast? Isn’t that how it works? It’s a crush when they make your heart beat fast, right? Yeonjun hasn’t a clue how this all works. 

He thrashes around his bed, rolling from one end to the other, legs kicking wherever, everything. He’s doing everything. Then, he stops. Heart pulsing quickly and a sheen of sweat starting to form around his neck and forehead.

He’s utterly confused. 

\--

Hours before the third date, Yeonjun is standing in front of his mirror, nodding appreciatively for his big brain. He angles his body to the left, then makes a full turn, eyes only leaving his reflection for a second when he turns his head to catch up to the rest of his body. A black t shirt, gray plaid trousers, a black beret, and his favorite Converse with the stocky midsoles that Soobin keeps laughing at.

And of course, by ‘hours before’, Yeonjun is saying it’s 7 am and they’re supposed to meet at Cheongdam station by nine. He’s double checked his bag for his essentials, which honestly, weren’t a lot. He’s only bringing his wallet, his phone and earbuds, and the two books he’s determined to finish today. He keeps hoisting his Sac De Jour on his shoulder and putting it back down. He sits on his bed and checks Twitter, then stands up and paces around the room, checking his appearance in the mirror once or twice.

_Choi Yeonjun, it’s not a date._

_Finally_ , Yeonjun gets a text from Soobin saying he’s on his way to the station and will wait for Yeonjun by the vending machine they always buy out of.

Before Yeonjun goes to type a reply saying a simple “ok, omw” like the levelheaded young man that he is, he takes three deep, calming breaths. He reaches for his bag and swings it over to his shoulder, and adjusts the bobby pins that hold his beret securely. Yeonjun takes one last look at his face and his clothes when he passes by the mirror, and of course as he always does for good measure, he winks. Or at least tries to.

\--

Soobin pushes the door open for Yeonjun when they get to the cafe just after a few minutes of walking from the subway. Yeonjun mumbles his thanks and steps inside, his eyes automatically scanning the place.

It’s not as shabby nor as displeasing as Yeonjun initially thought, when they were walking along the small alleyway to get there. It even had a glass door and a little flower bed outside. The inside had some sort of open second floor that was big enough to fit only three two-person tables. He guesses that’s where they’re sitting, judging by how Soobin is simply walking past all the tables they could sit at below and heading straight for the small flight of stairs by the back. Yeonjun follows anyway, but falls back a bit to admire the small space by the glass window where a little elevated stage that had two mics and barstools were. He guesses it’s for anyone, since there was an acoustic guitar and cajón just sitting in the corner.

“Yeonjun-hyung,” Soobin softly calls him over. He must’ve stopped for too long.

Yeonjun walks over to Soobin who’s waiting for him at the top of the stairs and climbs after him. When he gets to the top, he can only think of thanking Soobin for securing the last table available. The chairs looked perfect: nude plush accent chairs. Way better than the ones below.

He puts his bag down the chair opposite of Soobin and takes out his wallet. “Did you have breakfast already?” He asks the younger.

“Not yet. I wanted to have their pancakes for breakfast.” Soobin replies, also taking out his wallet from his bag. 

“Those are your favorite then?”

“I always order them when I come here, so yeah, I guess so.” Soobin tells him. Yeonjun hums in reply.

They go back to the counter downstairs to order. Yeonjun contemplates asking Soobin what’s good, but then he _did_ tell Yeonjun seconds ago that all he orders are pancakes every time he comes to this cafe. And Yeonjun isn’t really in the mood for pastries. So, when he sees some rice bowls and a brunch combo on the menu, he knew he had to buy it. And maybe pancakes when he feels like eating them later.

  
  


Only moments later when they get their orders delivered to their table and the scent is wafting towards him, does Yeonjun realize he’s quite hungry. He was too invested in the book he had on his hands; Almond by Son Wonpyeong. It seemed like Soobin had been hyper-focused on his own book as well. He happily clears the table when the server arrives.

They read again for a few hours. Going downstairs from time to time to order something again. Yeonjun did try ordering pancakes for his lunch when he saw the huge stack Soobin had been eating earlier. He thought that perhaps they would be enough for his appetite. And they were. Tasted amazing too. 

Yeonjun finishes his book the same time he finally finishes his food and coffee. He puts the book down after he dramatically stretches his hands over his head and bends his torso back like it could help with his mild back pains. He glances at Soobin who’s still focused on his book, his eyes a bit red. Yeonjun never noticed Soobin crying in that time they were together. Instead of asking what was wrong, Yeonjun tears his eyes away from the boy in front of him and looks toward the large glass window downstairs.

He notices the music change from a playlist to live singing. He peers down at the small stage by the corner and sees two men on the chairs, and their five other friends (that looked around a few years older than Yeonjun) sitting in front. They looked like they were having a lot of fun listening to the pair singing and playing the guitar. 

Yeonjun lets himself enjoy the soft voice playing through the speakers as he leans back against his chair.

\--

Walking along a quiet street at night didn’t exactly sound like the greatest thing at first, but Yeonjun finally understands that being with someone you’re comfortable with makes quite the difference. 

They’d just got out of the cafe a few minutes earlier, when the keeper had to ask them to kindly leave, as they were closing for the night. They’d finished their books hours before that, and were just talking like they haven’t interacted for years. 

_This is nice_ , Yeonjun says to himself. Thinks that it’s quite easy to fall in love in this street’s setting; looking at the street lamps that glow a soft yellow tone, reflecting on the wet ground from the drizzle just a few hours earlier. The cold summer night’s empty air doesn’t compare to a winter night but it also doesn’t matter. Yeonjun is still cold in only his t-shirt, and he envies Soobin in his mustard yellow denim coat that’s miles thicker than Yeonjun’s top.

He eyes Soobin from where he’s walking behind for a moment before he takes two quick skips to catch up to the younger’s pace, and takes his hand in his own.

Honestly, Yeonjun doesn’t know what was going through his mind when he decided to do it. It doesn’t do anything to his heart like he expected it to. He swings their hands and lets his feet think for themselves for once and for Soobin to do the job of getting the pair to the subway.

Letting himself be like this gives Yeonjun enough space to let his thoughts run free, but no matter how hard he tries to daydream everything that doesn’t exist, his mind dwells on one specific thought that keeps bouncing around his mind despite his attempts to brush it off. 

_This is how it would feel like if Soobin was his boyfriend._

He entertains the thought for a while. It sounded delightful. Yeonjun has never been in any romantic relationship before and he does not particularly know if it could feel this great, or even better than this. 

But just as he was beginning to let his mind wander into further places than just imagining himself on a rooftop with Soobin and saying he likes the younger (he’s watched one too many romance animes, and it was still because of Soobin), he’s shaking his head so hard that they’d momentarily stopped walking. Soobin immediately asks what was wrong, to which Yeonjun replies, “It’s nothing.”

He shouldn’t be thinking about it in the first place. He shouldn’t be doing things that do nothing but feed into his fantasies that weren’t even going to come true. Falling in love with your best friend isn’t always the dream come true that the media plays it out to be. There’s no helping it.

Yet, even with all these thoughts that invade his mind, Yeonjun still chose to keep holding Soobin’s hand. He still chose to perch his head on the taller boy’s shoulder, slowing them down even more. 

Yeonjun will deal with these feelings some other day.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> whoo! i hope you enjoyed that :33 i think this is my favorite chapter so far. i'm still fairly inexperienced in writing chaptered fics, so i hope you bear with me and my mediocre english skills!
> 
> if u enjoyed it, please leave a kudos, maybe a comment! if also i made any errors that i failed to check, dont be shy and let me know!!
> 
> see u next update! ily
> 
> p.s i swear this story has the Love Alarm pls trust me asdfjk
> 
> *chapter title: just dance - jhope (bts)
> 
> my twt


	6. please let the time stop like this (yeonjun's)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i'm back!! so i’ve edited the chapter titles to include whose point of view it is, because i am going to do two chapters from soobin’s pov, and it’s good to properly establish it :>>
> 
> hope you enjoy reading!!

Yeonjun, a senior, 18 years old and Soobin, a junior, 17 years old, become aware about the app that everyone seemed to have, save for the two who’d been in their own bubble for the entirety of their summer. Love Alarm, as Yeonjun heard.

_ Sounds stupid  _ , he thinks. Faithfully thought that it was before he found out what exactly the app does.

Before morning classes, when he forces his seatmate to  _ kindly  _ explain to him what the app does, she tells Yeonjun that it ( _ some-fucking-how _ ) connects to your feelings or whatever and rings whenever someone within a 10 meter radius likes you, and/or you ring someone else’s when you like them. Now all that was well and good, hell, Yeonjun would have downloaded that app if he had data left then.  _ It’s a good ego booster if you were confident enough  _ , he thinks. But you see, that  _ used  _ to be the case. And honestly, it  _ should still  _ be the case. And yet, it’s not. Yeonjun is aware of his budding feelings for Soobin, no matter how conflicted he seemed to be about the true nature of these feelings, and downloading that  _ cursed  _ app is only going to put him in trouble. Add the indisputable fact that one is rarely seen without the other, Yeonjun knows that Soobin will find out about it sooner than Yeonjun would like him to.

So Yeonjun, an eighteen year old grade 12 student hardly paying attention to their new homeroom teacher’s orientation, is nearly vibrating in his seat at the thought of facing Soobin later at lunch and the younger using The Devil’s Pout asking him what he thinks about the Love Alarm. And god-forbid, forcing him to download the app, because Yeonjun knows that he could never resist the younger.

_ Especially now that you’re in love with him. _

_I am_ not _in love_ _with him, thank you very much._

\--

“Hyung! Hyung!”

Aha, what a rare sight. Choi Soobin at 12-A’s classroom door during lunch time.

Yeonjun would usually be the one that went to Soobin’s classroom. Partly because it saves both of them time and energy, since 11-A’s room was directly a floor below 12-A’s, and the cafeteria was at the other side of the campus. And also partly because Soobin used to explicitly  _ not  _ enjoy the stares of his classmates that have so shamelessly asked Yeonjun for the younger’s number. Yes, he did tell Soobin about it, because at first, Yeonjun had so foolishly thought his charming and popular best friend would like the extra block of ego he was offering then. He realized quickly after that that Soobin didn’t bathe in the attention and just wanted to wade through his high school life fairly unnoticed. Something that’s admittedly not going exactly well, but Soobin has reassured him over and over again that he’s over it, and he’s learned to ignore them.

Nevertheless, Yeonjun is still fairly protective of him, so he rushes over to the door despite all his earlier worries all throughout Homeroom and Physics.

“Soobin-ah, what brings you here?” Yeonjun asks, as nonchalantly as he could manage, still stupidly thinking about that app that he’s starting to hate.

“Well to have lunch, of course!”

“Ah, have you come to fetch hyung? How expensive of you, Soobinie. What did it take for you to march over to my turf?”

Yeonjun gulps. He’s made an opening for himself. He should pat his back for that.

“Well, hyung,” Soobin starts, and Yeonjun is wringing his fingers behind him, “I don’t know if you’ve heard about this new app called Love Alarm.”

There it is. Yeonjun should’ve just played dead earlier and maybe Soobin would take him to the infirmary and they’d avoid talking about it altogether, but it’s a few minutes too late now. “Oh, I just found out about it. Why? Did you want to download it?”

“I wanted to ask you before I did. Get your wallet first, we’re going to the cafeteria.”

He had to process Soobin’s words for a few short seconds before he looked down at his indeed, wallet-less hands.  _ He wanted to ask him what he thought about the app, first..?  _ Holding up his index finger to tell Soobin to wait for a bit, he rushes back to his seat inside.

“Ya, Choi Yeonjun!” his classmate, Jiwoo, the most annoying person to ever exist, is calling out to him again. Yeonjun’s only joking of course, Jiwoo is like a ball of sunshine. Soobin is  _ much  _ better though. “  _ Please  _ , tell Soobin to download Love Alarm. The public is begging on their knees!”

Yeonjun only laughs and sticks his tongue out at her. “I’ll tell him to never download it!” He goes back outside to Soobin, where he hopes didn’t hear a thing of whatever nonsense his classmate was shouting. Though he doubts it.

“Hey, I’m back.” He slid the door close immediately to cut off Jiwoo’s direct pleas to Soobin that sounded like: “Download the app, Soobin-ssi! I bet you’ll get 30 hearts at the cafeteria alone!”

“I’ll probably only get like 4.” Soobin says it to him with such a straight face that Yeonjun almost takes him seriously. He beams and punches Soobin on his left arm. “Whatever you say, man.”

“So, hyung,” Soobin starts, walking slowly with Yeonjun towards the stairs, “What do you think? Should I download it? Wait, did  _ you  _ download it already?”

“I haven’t.” Yeonjun admits. “I only heard about it this morning.” 

“Sooo? Do you think I should?”

Yeonjun wants to tell him, ‘No, please don’t ever download that app, it's not good for my health’, but if Soobin’s so enthusiastic about it, who was he to stop him? He’ll just have to deal with the consequences.

Unknowingly, Yeonjun holds his breath.

“That’s up to you, Soobin-ah. If you’re comfortable with the confessions then you should. I don’t know what’s stopping you.”

“But I’m not too sure about it, hyung. What if the app is a scam? What if my Love Alarm just randomly rings another person’s? And I don’t even know who they are? I’m kinda scared of that, hyung. Am I even making sense? I don’t know what I’m talking about right now.” Soobin says, all in one breath.

Yeonjun, however, finally lets his go.

“Hey, Soobin-ah.” Yeonjun stops walking in the middle of the last flight of stairs. Soobin doesn’t immediately stop, so Yeonjun had to call out to him again. “Choi Soobin.”

It makes Soobin stop at the last step and turn to look up at him. “You really want to download the app?” Yeonjun asks him.

“Well, yes-”

“But you’re just scared, right?”

“...I think so?”

“Then,” a tiny lightbulb goes off in Yeonjun’s head, “I’ll download it first, okay? I’ll see what the fuss is about. Besides, I don’t think I’ll ring anyone’s, I don’t have someone I like, anyway.”  _ Liar.  _ “Shut up.”

“Huh?”

_ Crap  _ , He’d said that out loud. “Nothing! It’s nothing.” Yeonjun starts moving down the stairs again to catch up to Soobin. “Anyway, I was saying that I’ll download it first then tell you if it’s not that worth it, alright? Since you’re getting so worked up about it, I-I thought I could download it for a while, you know…” Yeonjun’s voice slowly gets quieter towards the end of his statement, waiting for Soobin to say something.

Soobin’s looking at him with such wonder in his eyes and Yeonjun doesn’t understand why. He doesn’t understand which part of whatever he just said could have Soobin looking at him like that, unmoving for how many seconds now.

“Hey, what’s wrong?” Yeonjun asks. Soobin seems to snap out of whatever trance he was on, blinking once, twice.

“Oh, it’s nothing, hyung. And I think that’s a good idea. Uh- well- if you’re willing to, of course- I mean! I don’t wanna bother you too much if you don’t want to download it.”

Yeonjun smiles warmly at him. “It’s not a problem at all, Soobin-ah.”

\--

It is. It’s a problem.

Well, not right now, at least.

He’d been wasting his 20 minutes inside the shower stall with the water turned off, staring at his phone that’s playing his favorite songs propped up on the sink, not saying a thing. He ought to strip and get the water running already, but he couldn’t get his arms to work. He keeps arguing against himself on whether he should download the app or not. The side that wants to download the app has an unfair advantage of course, because he  _ did  _ promise Soobin he’d download it, and he’s not exactly keen on breaking his promises to the younger. 

He doesn’t even know how the app works! Can he even turn it off? Surely, right?

_ Whatever  _ , he says to himself,  _ I’ll download it. If shit hits the fan, I’ll just ask Beomgyu about it. He’ll probably know what to do. _

Yeonjun gets out of the shower a few minutes later, eyes glued to his phone’s screen, watching the app’s download progress. He’s not going to lie, it’s making him a little nervous.

When he finally taps it open, he’s greeted with a single heart on the screen, the app was probably loading. He sets his phone aside for a moment, putting on clothes and gathering the handouts he was going to need for studying, as he was to meet Soobin at the library in an hour.

He checks his bag one more time to see if he had forgotten anything and was about to step out of his room when he remembers his phone. He turns around and heads for his phone on his nightstand. Seeing that he still had around 45 minutes left before he has to leave for the library, he sits on his bed and unlocks his phone.

He’s greeted with the loading screen of the app, that a few seconds later changes to show a single heart that’s beating and text that says “No one within a 10m radius loves you”.  _ Well ouch, he knows that already  _ . Yeonjun supposes the beating heart is supposed to be his own. Staring at it for a few seconds, he starts to think it’s a bit comical for this thing to have become so popular. Like, it  _ had  _ to be a joke, right? There’s no way someone first downloaded this app and thought this was real. It doesn’t even have settings nor a menu button.

Heading over to his messages, he pulls up his chat with Beomgyu.

**_yeonjun_ **

beomgyu-yah

how does this love alarm app work

_ 6:51 pm _

**_bamnamu_ **

didn’t know you were interested in the app, hyung

i mean ik you’re quite of a narcissist yourself but still 

i’m pleasantly surprised

_ 6:54 pm _

**_yeonjun_ **

can i turn it off 

why doesnt it have settings

_ 6:54 pm _

**_bamnamu_ **

christ

you sound like an old man

_ 6:54 pm _

**_yeonjun_ **

well?

_ 6:55 pm _

**_bamnamu_ **

hhhhh

u just tap the heart once to turn it off 

then tap again to turn it on

it’s that easy

it doesnt have settings because

_ 6:57 pm _

**_yeonjun_ **

?

_ 6:57 pm _

**_bamnamu_ **

idk lol

_ 6:58 pm _

**_yeonjun_ **

you ass

_ 6:59 pm _

**_bamnamu_ **

heh you are what you eat

_ 6:59 pm _

**_yeonjun_ **

i.. did not need to know that

_ 7:00 pm _

**_bamnamu_ **

¯\\_(ツ)_/¯

had to look that one up 

i spent too much time trying to manually type that in

_ 7:03 pm _

**_yeonjun_ **

i dont care

i dont have time for this

bye

_ 7:03 pm _

**_bamnamu_ **

hyung who are you trying to confess to 

who’s the love alarm for?

tell me

( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

also had to look that one up

_ 7:04 pm _

**_yeonjun_ **

BYE

_ read 7:04 pm  _ ✓✓

  
  


Yeonjun gets on the bus and pays his fare still staring at his phone. He walks across the bus slowly, settling on standing up while  _ still  _ looking at his screen. His screen that’s displaying a “No one within a 10m radius loves you” despite the 10+ people on the vehicle. Disclaimer: Yeonjun is not a megalomaniac nor is he conceited, he just wants to know what happens when you get a heart.

_ And yet, you’re still nervous about telling Soobin he should download it. _

It’s true, Yeonjun’s hands are getting cold from his anxiousness. He still doesn’t know why. He’s still trying to ask the world why it needed to spit out this goddamn smartphone application the moment he’s starting to realize that he’s developing feelings for his best friend.

Before he forgets, he shoots Soobin a quick text to let him know he’s on his way. Soobin tells him he’s on his way too.

He gets off the bus on the sixth stop, tapping his screen once to turn his Love Alarm off, and shoving it in his back pocket. 

He meets Soobin at the lounge, the other boy already seated comfortably on one of the chairs with his back to the door, his knapsack hugged tightly against his front, and his attention solely on his phone. 

Yeonjun desperately wants to lie right now. Say that the app was stupid and that Beomgyu told him the app didn’t work truly. He’s about to do it. He’s about to tap Soobin’s shoulder, say hey, sit down next to him, and lie. But he can’t. Couldn’t. Yeonjun is physically unable to. 

Soobin turns his head to him, probably thinking he looks incredibly creepy standing still behind Soobin. But the younger only smiles that _ smile  _ again, and Yeonjun is already taking three large steps to get to the chair beside Soobin, ready to tell him everything he found out about the app, albeit not that much. And earnestly, Soobin listens to him when he does. 

Soobin also tells him that he’ll only download the app when he gets home, so thank the gods for that. A few minutes pass when the two finally stand up to head over to the study carrels inside. Fortunately, they notice two empty seats right next to each other and promptly head over there. 

Yeonjun is screwed. At least that’s what he keeps telling himself. Soobin is downloading this wretched app and Yeonjun now has to make another excuse as to why he needs to uninstall his own. There was no way he was keeping the app while Soobin is around, he would rather perish. God, Yeonjun never knew keeping secrets from your bestfriend would be  _ this  _ difficult. 

_ Well  _ , at least to Yeonjun it’s a secret. He’s not even wholly sure he has actual romantic feelings for the boy. Perhaps it was only a temporary fixation, or maybe fleeting infatuation. But, Jesus, really?  _ For my  _ own  _ bestfriend? Why not literally anybody else?  _ Yeonjun doesn’t want to risk it.

He’s deleting the app when he gets home.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> if u enjoyed it, please leave a kudos, maybe a comment! if also i made any errors that i failed to check, dont be shy and let me know!!
> 
> see u next update! and please don't forget to cast your daily vote for txt at mama! and please stream blue hour too -3-
> 
> chapter title: be with you - def


	7. why are you shaking my heart? (yeonjun’s)

One morning a few days later while Yeonjun is walking through the front gate, he hears the annoying ping of the Love Alarm again. Obviously, he doesn’t have any fear that the sound could be coming from his phone, because smart, intelligent, wise, brilliant Choi Yeonjun has already deleted it exactly a week and a day ago. And apparently, (also quite surprisingly), everyone seems to know already that Yeonjun had downloaded the app for a bit and promptly uninstalled it. Credits to Soobin’s big mouth one time during dance practice, other members found out about it and exactly the next day, he’d counted at least four different people (who, Yeonjun would like to add, he’s never met before) asking why he only downloaded it for a short while and if he was trying to confess to someone.

It’s funny. All these people asking him who the person he’s trying to confess to with the Love Alarm is, when all he’s doing is actively _trying to avoid_ confessing via Love Alarm to the very person they always see him with.

Okay, it’s not funny. Yeonjun is lucky the first time when Soobin bought his poor excuse of uninstalling the app because “it’s going to plague my mind with thoughts of who likes me or not”, and “it’s going to damage my obnoxiously high self esteem if I keep the app and nobody rings it at all”, to which Soobin initially tried to fight him over the second excuse being impossible (“Hyung! You’re literally famous.”).

And Yeonjun would’ve been, _should’ve_ been perfectly fine hearing all the rings of that app in the morning, because it meant people are being told someone likes them, and Yeonjun understands that that has to be such a nice feeling. _Except_ , when the constant pings accompany Choi Soobin’s voice calling his name, Yeonjun comes to realize what jealousy and annoyance together is and feels like.

He never forgets to remind Soobin to turn his Love Alarm off during classes everyday, yes. Because, as Yeonjun discovers, apparently a lot of students like Choi Soobin and keep ringing his phone during class. There’s no surprise there, Yeonjun just didn’t want to admit that he has so much competition.

 _Ah, ah, ah. What did you just say, Yeonjun-ah_?

 _You heard nothing_ . _I’m just thinking about how Soobin could be in his first romantic relationship before me. Ha ha, of course, yes, that’s all there is to it._

Yeah, alright, so what if Yeonjun is jealous? He just has to be consistent in his excuses for uninstalling the app to Soobin and everybody else (except Beomgyu), while he sorts his feelings out, and nobody will ever suspect anything (plus, he’s been told that he looks too het, so he has that to cover him for now). He’s not letting that app out him. He’s not letting _anyone_ out him at all.

Yeonjun tells him to turn the app off before he lets Soobin go inside his own classroom. Some students say good morning to him, he smiles at them in return. Oh, Yeonjun’s feeling more and more like a teacher ever since he entered senior year. All these lowerclassmen that keep greeting him whenever he drops Soobin off at his room are really making him feel old.

Soobin pokes his cheek (harshly, Yeonjun would like to point out) and runs quickly inside his room, shouting “I’ll see you at lunch, hyung!” over his shoulder while Yeonjun was preoccupied with a junior asking him once again why he doesn’t have Love Alarm. He only curses at Soobin and apologizes to the girl in front of him, telling her that he simply does not want to download the app. He peeks one last time at their classroom window, sticking his tongue out once the younger turns to him and immediately runs towards the stairs and up to his classroom.

\---

The next morning, Soobin is once again rushing to catch up to him, the familiar rings of the Love Alarm torturing his ears. You know, Yeonjun’s starting to get sick of this app. And more importantly, he’s getting sick of Soobin pestering him to download the app again.

Soobin has only explicitly asked Yeonjun to download the app twice, the first when he was adorably curious about what it was about, and the second time being a few seconds ago. And just because Soobin has only explicitly asked twice, does not mean he’s never implied it a couple hundred times more. 

“Don’t you wanna know if someone likes you?”

“I don’t need that right now, Soobin-ah.”

“But what if your crush rings your alarm?”  
  


 _I wish_ , he says to himself. “I don’t have a crush.” But says this out loud instead.  
  


“Ah, lying is bad, hyung.”  
  


 _Of course_ he knows that. Lying is exhausting too!   
  


“I’m not lying, you ass.” He gently shoves Soobin to the side while they walk up the stairs.

“You’re a terrible liar, hyung. You know you can tell me anything, right?”

 _Not this time._ “I knooow. Now go to your room already, I still have a handout I need to finish.” Yeonjun says, looking not at Soobin but past him. The younger already knows he’s lying anyway, there’s no point in acting like he’s not.

Soobin looks at Yeonjun for a few seconds with one eyebrow raised, seemingly waiting for Yeonjun to say something else. But he doesn’t. Soobin only sighs and reaches up, meekly pinching Yeonjun’s cheek once, and walking away to his classroom, throwing a weak “I’ll see you at lunch” over his shoulder.

\---

Thankfully, Soobin does meet him at lunch. Even beating Yeonjun to it by picking him up twice in only two weeks, much to the delight of Yeonjun and a few of his classmates, though for different reasons.

Yeonjun had been worried that Soobin was upset at him. That maybe the younger felt Yeonjun wasn’t trusting him anymore. Yeonjun doesn’t want Soobin to ever think that. He’s never once doubted his trust on Soobin. It’s just that the circumstances right now were wildly different from even just 5 months ago, where Yeonjun didn’t have his awakening yet, and he could talk to Soobin about all his short-lived crushes with ease.

Seeing Soobin outside his room waiting, his back leaned against a pillar, hand and head busy on his phone like some type of heartthrob (Soobin _is_ a heartthrob) did lift Yeonjun’s spirits significantly. He goes over and taps Soobin’s shoulder, a silent word of “let’s go” exchanged when their eyes meet.

Walking to the cafeteria in total silence rarely happens when it’s the two of them. Sure, there were days when they talked quietly, and even some when not even a single word was uttered between them. Yet, Yeonjun can’t help but think that this moment, right now, was different. Silence when it’s so clear that the both of them have so much to say. Either unwillingly, or frightened to speak first, Yeonjun isn’t sure. He knows he’s frightened, yes. He doesn’t know where to start. No, he doesn’t even know what to say, let alone where to start.

But he thinks letting his mind speak is better than sulking, so he speaks first.

“Soobin-ah-” “Yeonjun-hyung-”

And of course, like the cliche that they are, both decided to speak at the same time.

“Now,” Yeonjun brings a finger to Soobin’s lips, stopping him from talking over Yeonjun, “Before you say something like “Oh hyung-nim, you go first” while I say “You talk first” at the same time, I’m telling you now, you talk first. I accept no other answers except yes and fine.”

Yanking Yeonjun’s wrist away from his face, Soobin replies. “Firstly, I do not respect you enough to call you hyung-nim-”

“Hey!”

“And second, fine. I’ll talk first.”

“ _Thank you_.”

“Only because you’re a coward.”

“Do you wanna fight?”

Before Yeonjun could raise his fist to punch Soobin’s arm, Soobin is already pulling Yeonjun in front of him and trapping the older boy’s arms in a hug from behind, still walking, mind you. Yeonjun thinks that right now Soobin’s just showing off his long legs that could stretch outward to make it easier for them to walk, while still being a few centimeters taller than Yeonjun. “You can’t win in a fight with me, hyung. You’re too weak.” Soobin quips.

Yeonjun is perfectly aware that he can easily break out of Soobin’s purposefully weak hold on him. And yet, he doesn’t. Though Soobin’s really working hard to piss him off right now.

“Soobin-ah, when we get to the cafeteria, I will _throw_ you on the ground and-”

Soobin’s already started running away from Yeonjun before he could finish his threat, attracting attention from other students just walking leisurely to the cafeteria. Yeonjun decides he doesn’t want any of that embarrassment so he, too, walks as normally as he could, getting ready to throw hands at the younger when he gets there.

He’s only half-joking of course. It’s still early into the school year. Yeonjun’s not going to cause problems on purpose yet.

When he opens the glass doors to the noisy cafeteria he immediately scans the surrounding, looking for a certain tall boy. Soobin’s recent growth spurt should be very useful to Yeonjun right now, but he’s still having a hard time finding where the younger is. 

Just when he’s about to open his mouth to ask a student if they knew where Soobin was, the said boy has already latched himself on to Yeonjun’s back, almost toppling them both over the girls that Yeonjun was facing. They didn’t even look bothered enough when Yeonjun had to grip the edge of their table, and he’s so embarrassed that he’s already feeling his face heat up a bit.

As quickly as he could, he pushes himself up to stand properly with Soobin still putting most of his weight on Yeonjun’s back. If Yeonjun weren’t in public he would’ve already thrown Soobin on the floor and tickled him until he cried for payback, and judging by the looks the other people were already giving them, it’s a good choice. He bows in apology to the girls before turning around, ready to smack Soobin into the afterlife.

“Ya Choi Soobin! Are you crazy?” He shouts nonetheless, a few more heads that Yeonjun spots in the corner of his eye turning towards the loud sound.

It seemed like Yeonjun’s bestfriend wasn’t completely shameless as Yeonjun was starting to believe. Soobin’s eyes widen and he immediately goes to grab Yeonjun’s hand, bolting out of the cafeteria, almost knocking into one of the teachers who shout at them to stop running. But Yeonjun just lets himself be pulled by the younger, opting to send the teacher an apologetic look as they get farther from them.

\-- 

“Anything you want to say, Soobin-ssi? You think we’re track athletes or something? We’ve ran _twice_ in not even an hour! That was at least two kilometers. And for what? What were we running from? I’m fucking hungry Choi Soobin, and lunch period is going to end in 30 minutes, there must be no-”

“Hyung, I'm sorry.”

“FOR WHAT”

After running from whatever the hell they were running from, Yeonjun is now standing as menacingly as he could in front of Soobin who’s crouching on the grass, avoiding the older boy’s glare. The sweat that had formed earlier was slowly drying from the cool wind rustling the leaves of the acacia tree that they were seeking shade under. Yeonjun wasn’t upset when they were still walking towards the cafeteria. But now, roughly 13 minutes later, hands on his hips as he tries to even out his breaths from panting, Yeonjun is so close to poking out Soobin’s eyes out of irritability.

“I’m sorry for trying to avoid talking by messing with you. And, um, dragging you halfway across campus while running.” Soobin says, still not meeting Yeonjun’s eyes.

“Look at me, Soobin-ah.”

It takes a few seconds before Soobin eventually looks up at him. Yeonjun sighs as he drops his hands to his sides, his gaze softening.

“I forgive you. I know you like to act immature sometimes. And that’s alright. But that time at the cafeteria? Soobin, if that table wasn’t wooden we would’ve knocked it over. And there were three girls that were eating! You have to be careful of your surroundings, okay?”

“Okay.” Soobin says in a quiet voice.

“God,” Yeonjun sighs, grunting a bit as he sits next to Soobin and lays his head against his shoulder. “I’m not going back to the cafeteria today. We’ve embarrassed ourselves enough. Ms. Gu is going to have our heads if she sees us.”

“I’m sorry again, hyung.”

“As long as you learned something, Soobin-ah. It’s fine now.”

“It’s not about that, hyung.” Yeonjun looks to Soobin twiddling his thumbs, his nervous habit.

“Then what is it, Bin-ah?”

“I’m sorry for forcing you to download Love Alarm. And for subtly pressuring you to tell me who your crush is.” Soobin lilted, picking at the grass beside his feet. “I know you trust me with your secrets but, I dunno, for a moment then I thought you didn’t. And I’ve always been aware that you didn’t want to download the app yet I kept forcing you to, and that’s not right. It’s not right. I should know it because if someone did that to me I wouldn’t like it too.”

“Yeah.” Was all Yeonjun could reply. He lifts his head from Soobin’s shoulder and scoots his hips forward to lie properly on the grass.

“I’m really sorry, hyung.”

“You’re forgiven, Soobin-ah. And you weren’t the only one who was in the wrong. I also made you feel like I didn’t trust you enough to talk to about, well, certain things. And that’s not true! I trust you with everything. You’re literally my best friend. So that’s why I’ve decided to re-install that Love Alarm.”

“Thanks, hyung."

“Wait. HUH?”

\--

**_yeonjun_ **

beomgyu-yah

_9:58 pm_

**_bamnamu_ **

what now

_10:00 pm_

**_yeonjun_ **

the devil whispered in my ear

_10:01 pm_

**_bamnamu_ **

what did taehyun say

_10:01 pm_

**_yeonjun_ **

.

i’m telling on you

_10:01 pm_

**_bamnamu_ **

i will murder u in ur sleep

_10:02 pm_

**_yeonjun_ **

shut up Let Me Speak

_10:02 pm_

**_bamnamu_ **

then speak already, u idiot

_10:02 pm_

**_yeonjun_ **

i do not deserve this disrespect

well i have love alarm again

the devil that whispered in my ear was soobin

and i am not god’s strongest soldier

_10:03 pm_

**_bamnamu_ **

????????????

u sure u’re right in the head hyung?

_10:05 pm_

**_yeonjun_ **

yes

i think

what do i do

_10:05 pm_

cous

_10:11 pm_

**_bamnamu_ **

ah ah i’m in the stars tonight

sorry mom asked me to buy something

i wish i didnt ask for this neco azzuro they just keep sending me on errands

but it was so cute i had to beg them for it TT

_10:15 pm_

**_yeonjun_ **

pls

_10:15 pm_

**_bamnamu_ **

ah yes. the crisis of the year

u’re worried u might ring soobin’s, right?

_10:16 pm_

**_yeonjun_ **

yes

_10:16 pm_

**_bamnamu_ **

well

just ring it in a crowded place then

like the cafeteria or the hallway during lunch break

just somewhere where u’re sure there’s a lot of

uh

~soobin stans~ present

_10:17 pm_

**_yeonjun_ **

you’re a genius

_10:17 pm_

**_bamnamu_ **

thanks

just make sure u dont meet him before classes

meet him at lunch only

_10:17 pm_

**_yeonjun_ **

huh

why?

_10:18 pm_

**_bamnamu_ **

yeonjun-hyung i thought u were smart

u cant meet him before classes bc he might ask u to open it in like

the stairs

where theres not a lot of students present

and we dont want that

right?

_10:20 pm_

**_yeonjun_ **

right

we dont

_10:20 pm_

**_bamnamu_ **

ok so if u can, meet him at lunch only. in the cafeteria where theres a lot of potential people that could ring his when he decides to turn it on too

so we could hide your erm

love boner 

for him

_10:22 pm_

**_yeonjun_ **

this is pure genius

_10:22 pm_

**_bamnamu_ **

no u just suck at planning hyung

_10:22 pm_

**_yeonjun_ **

hey fuck you

okay not really

aight gyu thanks a lot for this

_10:23 pm_

**_bamnamu_ **

hyung has anyone ever told u u kinda text like a Het

and u’re welcome :*

_10:23 pm_

**_yeonjun_ **

bc i’m only gay for soobin

_10:24 pm_

**_bamnamu_ **

BARF

 _Read 10:24 pm_ ✓✓

\--

Yeonjun’s alarm wakes him at five in the morning. Well, the alarm has helped him realize the time. He’d been waking up at odd hours throughout the night, the first thing consistently on his mind when his eyes open being him ringing Soobin’s Love Alarm.

Of course he’d also meant for his alarm to wake him up at this time. He had to make sure he’s giving himself enough time to mentally prepare and to specifically track the time passing, even asking Beomgyu to drop him at school as late as he could, just to avoid bumping into Soobin before homeroom. And it worked, yes. It was Yeonjun’s first time being so late going to class that even his teacher asked why (even though he was only two minutes late), to which he responded “I had personal issues to take care of, sir.” Yeonjun only hopes it doesn’t spark gossip and rumors. God knows he’s had enough of that.

He settles in his usual seat, hanging his bag on the hook on the side of his table, taking out his notes and his phone.

In the middle of second period, Yeonjun’s phone starts buzzing from where he’d placed it upside down on his table. It didn’t bother him too much the first few times, since he had known that they were all text messages. Probably from Beomgyu having too much free time. But when the first phone call vibrated his phone, he knew had to move it back to his bag, annoyance starting to seep through his bloodstream.

The calls stopped for a moment, then started again, this time much more noticeable than when Yeonjun had left it on his table. The vibrating sound against his notebooks caught the attention of a few of his seatmates so he had to discreetly check who was calling. It turned out not to be Beomgyu, but Soobin. Yeonjun waited for the call to end before he checked the messages too, where atleast 90% were from the younger, with variations of “Hyung” “are you absent today” “where are you” “are you okay” “answer my calls you dickhead” “i mean hyung” “tell me where you are” “are you at home” “i’ll skip class if you dont asnwer me”. He decides to text back.

**_yeonjun_ **

jesus christ dude can you chill

i’m in class i’ll call you later

_10:13 am_

**_soobin_ **🤖

asdfkjf

didnt see you this morning so i thought u were dead

no need to call

i’ll see you at the cafeteria l8r

^3^

_10:14 am_

**_yeonjun_ **

ew bye

_10:15 am_

**_soobin_ ** 🤖

shut up you love me

 _read 10:15 am_ ✓✓

Yeonjun decides to leave him on read. And he would like to not comment on it.

\--

The walk to the cafeteria without Soobin almost felt like a different life. Yeonjun’s heart threatened to beat itself out of his body, his palms started to sweat so much that Yeonjun had to keep wiping them against his pant leg every few steps. He refused to believe that he was going to face a possible rejection in just a few minutes, all because he couldn’t resist Soobin. 

He almost wished he wouldn’t see Soobin that day. He kept repeating “He’s not here” in his head, chanting it as if it were a spell that if you willed it enough it would happen. Except his fate liked to grant the opposite of Yeonjun’s wishes, as not even more than ten steps into the place, he’s already hearing Soobin’s voice, distant in his head, telling him to “turn it on already!”

When he looks up from his gaze that’s been stuck to the floor since he walked out of his classroom, he’s faced with Soobin’s eager face. He doesn’t have any idea why the younger was so excited about Yeonjun getting a few hearts from people he didn’t even know. A few heads perk up at Soobin’s unfortunate announcement, hands getting busy trying to get their phones out of their pockets. Yeonjun assumes they’ve now figured out that he’d finally downloaded the godforsaken app. How troublesome.

Yeonjun’s not worried about ringing some stranger’s alarm. He’s only worried about ringing the one of the boy that he hasn’t taken his eyes off of yet, now standing in front of him. 

Against the desperate screams and warnings in Yeonjun’s head that’s turned into “Don’t pull your phone out. Go tell him you left it in your room,” he turns his gaze back to the floor and gets his phone out anyway, the device almost slipping out of his clammy grip. Gathering up the last bits of courage and shamelessness in his blood, he gives Soobin his best “I can’t believe you’re making me do this face” and hopes for the best. The best being he doesn’t ring the younger’s at all. It doesn’t even faze Soobin. He’s looking at Yeonjun like everything in life is good.

It was not. Atleast to the Yeonjun now.

He unlocks the screen and doesn’t waste any more time to click open the app. A deep breath held in his lungs, he waits for it to load.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> okay, look, i know it's a cliffhanger, and it's the worst point to declare that i'll be taking a short break, i'll have you know i hate myself for this too asdkfjdf  
> i'm very swamped with schoolwork right now so it's a bit difficult to find free time to write. i'm very sorry T^T i'll be back in atleast three weeks, of course i'm not abandoning this fic omg i just need to find time to travel and kill my physics instructor- i mean what haha *nervous laughter*
> 
> well, i'll be taking my leave now! see you all l8r! u can come find me on my twt @taehuening heh i talk to everyone there just talk to me first lmfao
> 
> please stream blue hour! and wlts mv is releasing in only hours from now so please stream that too. also dont forget to vote for our boys at mama!!
> 
> *chapter title: angel or devil - txt / boy in luv - bts


	8. my mind that's stuck in a nostalgic maze (yeonjun's)

_He unlocks the screen and doesn’t waste any more time to click open the app. A deep breath held in his lungs, he waits for it to load._

A series of pings sound off before Yeonjun sees the screen show a number 17. _17 hearts? That means 17 people like him right? Isn’t that too much-_

“Um-” Yeonjun starts to speak but gets cut off by Soobin’s overly excited reaction.

“Woooaah! You got seventeen hearts, hyung! That’s a lot!” Soobin moves to grab Yeonjun’s phone, but he luckily moves his hand out of the younger’s grasp just in time.

“Le- let me see yours too!” He stammers, trying to still appear nonchalant about the whole thing.

This was the part that he’d been dreading the most, ever since he’d blurted out to the younger that he would be downloading the app again. This moment when he was about to find out if he rang the other boy’s Love Alarm or not. He’s not going to lie, Beomgyu’s plan was quite good; opening the app in a crowded place that he was sure contained a lot of students obviously pining for his best friend.

And yes, opening the app before he asked for the younger’s phone is, in retrospect and in the exact tone and voice of his cousin, _criminally stupid_ . But Yeonjun has _just_ run out of other options now. He indeed brought this upon himself by being so out of it that he just readily agreed to walk to the cafeteria like a loser, and unlock his phone anyway without a single solid plan except to do it in a crowded space.

Yeonjun now only hopes to the planets above that he’d had a stroke of luck and did not, in fact, ring Soobin’s Love Alarm.

The younger of the two grabs his phone out of his pants' backpocket and unlocks the screen to an already open Love Alarm that's displaying 15 hearts. He hands the device to Yeonjun.

_Damn. That’s a lot of people._

"Waa-" Yeonjun starts but gets cut off by Soobin once again.

"Ah, hyuung~ This is embarrassing. Why am I getting so many hearts?" Soobin says, face showing his distraught and body curling in himself over having so many admirers. Yeonjun doesn't get why he's so worked up about it.

If this was Yeonjun a few minutes ago, he’d agree with the younger’s feelings of distaste over the amount of people that like Soobin just because he would atleast half-admit that he was jealous. But right now, holding onto that possibility that he did not ring the younger’s, due to the lack of an obvious reaction to a best friend indirectly confessing, he throws his confusion away. There was no way he rang Soobin’s Love Alarm.

Yeonjun tells Soobin to go ahead and buy for both of them so he could get time to browse his phone for a while. With still shaking hands, he tries out the younger's Love Alarm by turning his own on and off a few times.

And yet, the number never decreases.

Nothing happens.

Huh. 

So, he doesn't actually like Soobin? Or at least he doesn't like him enough to ring the stupid app? Yes, Yeonjun _was_ unconsciously praying to deities he didn’t believe in that he never rang that Love Alarm, and had ran over the thought being impossible over and over a few minutes earlier, but surely something has to be wrong there. 

After all, it was his own hobby to second guess everything that happened to his life.

He shoots Beomgyu a quick text.

**_yeonjun_ **

uh

i didnt ring soobin's

somehow

yeah

thats it

i just wanted to say that

_11:57 am_

The walk back to their classrooms is spent again in silence. Yeonjun walking slightly ahead of Soobin, stopping a few times to let the younger catch up to his pace. But Soobin falters in his steps, and Yeonjun doesn’t notice how far apart they are until he remembers to look back and catches Soobin’s blank face, head probably running at a hundred kilometers an hour. Yeonjun understands.

He has a lot on his mind, too. He has too much that he can’t even ask Soobin what’s on _his_ mind because he couldn’t keep earlier’s revelation away from his head.

He doesn’t like Soobin, at least not like _that_.

In all that time spent debating with himself about what kind of attraction he had for the other, or if he liked him or not, all of it are already out the window just because the stupid app deemed them all untrue.

And Yeonjun should rejoice! He can freely use the app now that he knows he’s not in danger of ringing the younger’s. But he doesn’t feel that way.

Maybe some part of him wanted to ring the alarm, and it’s only making itself known now that he’s known certain truths.

He feels his phone vibrate a few times in his pocket, the rings of the app sounding distant from his thoughts that are plagued with the earlier silence of his phone.

He stops in his silent tracks and waits for Soobin to catch up again. This time, the younger speaks.

“Hyung, let me borrow your phone for a bit.” Yeonjun hands it to him without hesitation.

Looking around, Yeonjun sees that they’re already in the first floor hallway of their building. Soobin has also stopped beside Yeonjun, looking at his face, asking silently, ‘Why’d we stop?’

“I’m going to the restroom for a bit, wait for me here.” He tells Soobin. The latter nods wordlessly.

When he makes his way to the stalls, he lets his mind wander. Flushing, washing his hands, drying them by waving about in the air, his mind was still running in circles. Even walking out, stepping to where Soobin’s still standing, getting his phone back, and moving to climb the stairs to drop Soobin off at their classroom, he’s still thinking. It might look like he was slightly out of it, unfocused eyes directed at his own steps but not registering that he was ascending. It seems like the younger still is, too. The few words they exchanged being the only ones, ever since they stepped out of the cafeteria. Both equally quiet, but not questioning why.

When they reach the younger’s room, their silence together gets interrupted by Soobin’s classmate bounding towards them. Heejin, Yeonjun thinks her name is. _Ugh, look at the way she clings to Soobin._

After a while of just standing by the side, probably looking like a lost puppy waiting for the pair to finish talking, Yeonjun decides that he was not going to spend his time like a loser who got cast aside. “Ya Choi Soobin,” he pats the boy’s back to get his attention, “I have to go.”

Soobin looks like he almost forgot Yeonjun was there. _Nice. Good to know._ “Oh- okay hyung. I’ll call you tonight. I can’t go home with you later.”

Yeonjun is baffled. “Why?” Somehow, this has never happened before.

“Well,” Soobin looks at the girl hesitantly, then back to him, “We have pair work to finish.”

Yeonjun looks back and forth between the two. “Ah, then don’t forget. I’ll wait for you.” He moves to leave the area, not exactly knowing why he waited for a brief moment for the younger to say anything else when he didn’t. Yeonjun walks away to his own classroom.  
  


That night, Soobin doesn’t forget. But he does make him wait, ringing his phone at already close to midnight. Yeonjun thinks Soobin almost forgot and only remembered last minute. 

And Yeonjun was considerably upset when he answered the call. And Soobin didn’t have to ask to know that he was.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> and I am back heh
> 
> honestly speaking i'm still quite busy i cant even manage to be active on twitter that much lol but here i am with another chapter! hope u enjoyed reading that. apologies for the shortness but it's just a little filler :>>>
> 
> a big congratulations to txt's recent achievements! my moa ego has inflated so much, it's a surreal thing.
> 
> but u know what else is surreal? txt debating over butts and straw holes. send tweet.
> 
> see u in the next update!!
> 
> *chapter title: eternally - txt


	9. this emotion that can't be expressed in words (yeonjun's)

The week after that very Friday when Yeonjun’s Love Alarm saved his own arse, he and Soobin hadn’t been going to school together. Five whole weekdays where Yeonjun goes straight home, does his schoolwork, eats, and waits for Soobin’s call.

For the most part, Yeonjun understands. He himself had been busy lately. Projects were slowly piling up even when he forced himself to stop procrastinating during that week. He understands Soobin and just waits. After all, it was just group work. It wasn’t like they were going to date.

Right?

_Wrong._

That Monday when Soobin finally had time to walk and take the commute with Yeonjun, he suddenly drops it on the older boy. A sentence that Yeonjun used to use for teasing Soobin, but now has come to hate.

“Hyung, I’m going on a date with Heejin.”

It was supposed to be fine. Yeonjun would accept this news with a pat on Soobin’s back telling him “good catch” or whatever, and he would let it slide. Maybe ask Soobin a few questions about this girl here and there to show that he was mildly interested but not too much that it became suspicious.

Instead, he gets this ugly feeling in his chest, and thoughts that don’t seem to make sense to Yeonjun begin to plague his mind. And before he knew it, he’s staring into space and his footsteps have slowed, his brain not registering that he has yet to respond to Soobin.

But what was he going to say? “Good catch”? Really?

He opts to give Soobin the most genuine smile he could manage, when the younger notices his movements nearing a halt and turns around to face him. Yeonjun takes two large strides to catch up to the other boy and wordlessly pat his arse, not trusting his foolish brain to come up with anything to say for the moment.

By now, Yeonjun is already aware of the awful feeling brewing inside of him and how the word for it starts with a big, fat letter J.

What a time to be alive. Yeonjun, whose feelings for Soobin weren’t enough for the Love Alarm to ring. Yeonjun, 95% gay Yeonjun that’s jealous of his [allegedly] Straight Best Friend because he’s going on a date with someone that wasn’t him. And, get this, turns out the best friend has no idea that Yeonjun is harboring feelings for him! Good. Amazing. Yeonjun must be living in a drama. He wants to ask the planets what episode he’s in right now, but seeing how the planets have heard his pleas that Friday in the cafeteria, he held his inner voice's tongue back. He would like to avoid all possibilities of the wind whispering in his ears, "You're on episode 8" or some shit.

“So, when are you guys going on this date?” Yeonjun finally asks, after maybe at least 10 minutes of silence between the two, plastering another smile to his face, “and where?”

“Well I’m still deciding between Saturday and Sunday-”

“Do it on Saturday.”

Soobin pauses for a second. “..may I ask why?”

“I dunno. Aren’t Saturdays for dates?”

Soobin gives Yeonjun a skeptical look, “O-kay. Saturday it is then. It’s at that cafe we ate at when we went thrifting in the summer. I think it’s a nice place for a date.”

Yeonjun’s eye twitches.

Soobin continues, “Why do you ask, by the way? Are you going to spy on us?” He smirks. _Smirks_. The devil is toying with Yeonjun right now.

The older gives a dry laugh, then the most poker face he could do, “Don’t tempt me.” Then he laughs genuinely anyway.

“I wouldn’t mind.” Soobin announces, and Yeonjun’s brain finally short-circuits.

  
  
  


“Hyung. Are you okay ?”

Yeonjun blinks a few times to try and bring himself back to where he was physically. “How long was I out?” He asks Soobin.

“Like a few seconds too long.”

“Oh.” _Get back to Soobin’s announcement._ “Would you mind telling me why you said, with your entire chest, that you wouldn’t mind if I went to stalk you? Are you asking to be chaperoned, Choi Soobin?”

“No! No. I’m not asking that. I just, uh- well, I _know_ I’ll be fine, you know?-”

“Yes, I know.” Yeonjun interrupts, trying to sound disinterested. (He’s not. He’s losing his mind and straining his ears trying to catch every word that falls out of the younger’s lips.)

“-but I kinda thought that if you were the one that went on some date, I would be spying on you too. I think.” Soobin looks at him, stopping in the middle of the sidewalk.

Yeonjun is touched. But he can’t show it, he doesn’t allow himself to. So, he scoffs, and says, “As if. I’m not volunteering to be a third wheel, fool.”

A knowing smile, Soobin maintains his eye-contact with the older boy. “Okay then, hyung.”

\--

Saturday morning comes and true to his words, Yeonjun did not go out to spy them.

Beomgyu did.

“Hyung, if I do not get Kamal’s number after this is all over I will actually strangle you to death.”

That is how Yeonjun finds himself lying on his bed, fully dressed to go out sans shoes, facetiming Beomgyu, his beloved cousin who is just a few tables away from Soobin and his date.

“I’m not scared of you. Come on, tell me what they’re doing.” Yeonjun rolls around, starting to get slightly impatient.

“Yeonjun-hyung, they are a few meters in front of me, innocently and happily eating. How much could they actually manage to do?”

"Plan a second date??" Yeonjun asks, sounding _just_ a little bit disgusted at the thought.

Beomgyu sighs through the speaker and gulps down the smoothie he ordered. "You know you could just ask him that yourself, right? Like what a normal friend does?"

Yeonjun supposes Beomgyu is right. To a certain extent. "Well, I can't do that."

"And why not?"

"Because. I'm gonna get jealous when he tells me later about it anyway, it's good that I have an upper hand here and–"

"Woah hyung, they're holding hands."

Yeonjun has never shot out of bed as fast as he just did. Not even for school. His hilariously panicky movements, almost tripping on air trying to find his wallet and keys and a clean pair of socks. "Wait for me, I'm going there."

"What the fuck, no! Don't come here!" Beomgyu whisper-shouts, frantic eyes clear on Yeonjun’s phone screen.

Yeonjun halts. "Why not?"

"You're going to ruin their date! They're just having fun, hyung, I don't know why you're getting so worked up about this."

"That goes without saying, Gyu." He scoffs, then falls back on his bed.

"Then why aren't _you_ asking him out on a date, then?" Beomgyu challenges.

 _Because I'm a coward._ "Because I don't like him!" He says instead.

"Then why am I here, huh, hyung? I'm just here to be a creep, is that it?"

Yeonjun deflates. Well, he owes him this. He answers Beomgyu in a voice so small one would think he was being scolded. Well, technically, he _was_. "Because I need you to tell me what they're doing." 

Beomgyu sighs again, "I know you like him, hyung." 

"But I didn't ring his Love Alarm."

"You were probably still confused that time. I also heard that if you deny your feelings too much it's not going to show up in the app. Aren't you gonna consider that feelings can change?"

Yeonjun mulls over it for a while. Maybe that was true. He wasn't opposed to having feelings for the younger anyway, he was just anxious over the app. Yeah, that's it. The app.

He lets Beomgyu's question remain unanswered.

"You are exhausting, hyung."  
  


Beomgyu follows the pair for a while after they exited the cafe. And of course, Beomgyu reports everything back to Yeonjun.

Nothing majorly catastrophic nor happening that warranted Yeonjun to run to the bus stop happened after the holding-hands-thing in the cafe. He supposes that's good. He also hopes Soobin is wise enough to not ask for a second date, because if he did, Yeonjun will have to back out of anything he might plan.

Yeonjun thanks Beomgyu when the younger finally tells him that the two have gone their separate ways. Yeonjun also finally gives him Kai Kamal's number.

\--

That night, Soobin texts him. The first text he'd received from the younger boy since the day started.

 **_soobin_ ** 🤖

hyung

can i call

?

_09:47 pm_

**_yeonjun_ **

sure binnie

_09:50 pm_

  
  
  


“Hyung, I really thought you would eavesdrop on us or something.” Yeonjun hears Soobin say through the speaker, the younger choosing to forgo any kind of greeting.

“I was tired. I just lied in bed all day.” Yeonjun couldn’t say they were complete lies, because he did. He just had to omit the part that he kinda did eavesdrop on them but had to use a relative for it. 

“Ah.” Soobin replies, sounding a bit hesitant. Yeonjun can’t figure out why. “What’re you doing now?”

“Well. It’s not much different than the rest of the day. But I’m reading a book for a change.”

Yeonjun hears Soobin gasp. “Really? Hyung you’re not kidding?”

“Ya, you’re making it seem like I’m an idiot who can’t read.”

“But you don’t! What made you decide to read? Was your PS4 taken? What book are you reading?” Soobin asks in quick sequence, not even stopping to breathe.

"You sure ask a lot of questions for someone that’s smart.”

“Answer me, you wet sock.”

“Jesus. Alright, what was your question again? And please, one by one this time.”

“What made you decide to read?”

Yeonjun thinks about it. There wasn’t any overly special reason other than he felt bitter that Soobin was out on a date that wasn’t with him, and that he wanted to take his mind off the thought. Video games just made him think more about the younger, so he had to begrudgingly turn off his console and look around his room for things to distract himself with. When he found two novels that Soobin left on the last drawer of his bedside table, he decided it was time to pick up a book again. That was it.

“Ah it's nothing much.” But he knows that he can’t say all that to the younger. “I got bored and saw your books on my table so I picked them up and got hooked on them.” At least the last part wasn’t a lie.

“So, your PS4 wasn’t taken, and you’re not grounded or anything?”

“No, you idiot.” He says, sounding a tad bit too affectionate and getting too careless about letting a sweet smile creep onto his face.

“What book are you reading, hyung? If I remember correctly I left around 4 books in your room.”

“Four?? I only found two. Where did you hide the other ones?”

“Dunno. Maybe they’re under the hundred mattresses you sleep on.”

“Hey! I only pile two because it’s fun when it’s bouncy. And I would know if they were under the mattress. Princess and the Pea and shit type’a person.”

Soobin scoffs. “We both know you like Mulan more than anything, hyung.”

“And? I literally tell everyone I love her everyday. If I just choose to ignore the sequel then I can live the rest of my life being single.”

“Okay, hyung.” Soobin sounds like a grandchild appeasing his grandfather. Kinda like the meme. “What’s the title of the book again?”

“Oh! It’s the Norwegian Wood one.” Yeonjun pauses for a brief second, remembering something he thought of earlier to tease Soobin with, unknowingly smiling widely. “By the way, mind sharing with the class why you didn’t feel the need to tell me you read erotica, Soobin-ssi?”

“Ah, have you read that far already, hyung?”

“I have. But I didn’t have to read so far to know what this is, bro.”

“Holy shit it just has a few written descriptions for sex, hyung. It’s not erotica. Why are you acting like we don’t watch porn?”

“Whatever, Soobin. Anyway enough of that, this is a good book.” Yeonjun pats the hard cover resting on his lap.

“I keep recommending you my shit, hyung. You just don’t listen to me, a.k.a. the best book recommender in-” Soobin suddenly stops.

“Hyung, someone is calling me. I’ll be right back, okay?”

Yeonjun was about to open his mouth to say okay when the call gets abruptly disconnected.

He doesn’t pay it any mind. Instead, he picks up his reading glasses and opens the book to the part he bookmarked, waiting for Soobin to call back.

Yeonjun doesn’t know whether to be glad or not that time passed quickly enough for him to not notice, because when he remembers to tear his attention away from the sepia pages to check the time on his phone, 40 minutes or so have passed. And there were no missed calls nor texts telling Yeonjun where Soobin had gone off to.

Their last call didn’t even take 40 minutes. Is he spending this much time on the other caller? Who was it anyway?

Yeonjun decides to leave Soobin a text.

**_yeonjun_ **

where’d u go

gingerbread man

just kidding u’re not tiny

_11:04 pm_

  
He picks his book up again and waits for a few minutes.

He doesn’t get anything.

**_yeonjun_ **

fr tho where are u

have u fallen asleep on me

_11:16 pm_

  
  


The call comes in when Yeonjun had read 76 pages since the first one got cut off and 23 minutes since his last text. Yes, he’d taken note of those.

By the time that Yeonjun had let out a sigh and an eye roll in one when he answered the call, the bitterness and other negative feelings had already simmered for a good while. He wasn’t sure what to make of it. He didn’t feel good. And the events in the book weren’t helping his mood at all.

“Aha. Turns out you’re not dead.” He speaks into the receiver, voice monotonous and right eyebrow twitching.

“Hyung, I’m so so sorry. Heejin called me and we didn’t notice the time.”

 _Great._ “Cool, cool. Glad you’re getting along well with her.” _God,_ Yeonjun hates how bitter he sounds.

“Hyuuung. Please forgive me. I really didn’t mean to.”

Soobin. _Soobin._ Yeonjun bets he doesn’t even know what he’s apologizing for. Even Yeonjun has no idea why the younger felt the need to say sorry. They’d never had a problem like this before.

“Soobin, it’s fine. Stop apologizing. Let’s just sleep, it’s late already.” _Lies_ . Yeonjun was going to read more. This had been the first time he’d rather do everything else _but_ talk to Soobin.

“Seriously, hyung. I’m really sorry. I didn’t even get to tell you about my date earlier!” Soobin sounds too enthusiastic. Too out of place. And Yeonjun, too in his head to care.

“Bro, I don’t give a shit. Look, just- just go back to talking to Heejin or whatever. I’m going to sleep.”

He ends the call, hearing only a distant inaudible sound from the speaker before it cuts off.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *chapter title - fairy of shampoo by txt


	10. your hand which is so close yet so far (yeonjun's)

Yeonjun would like to make it clear that he is now fully accepting that he likes Soobin. Strong feelings and all that crap. ( _ Yeonjun is whipped. They’d fought because he was being brushed aside and all he’d got from that were feelings. _ )

But the thing was, he was starting to believe that either maybe the Love Alarm thing was bullshit, it just has its off days, or Soobin just has his permanently turned off because Yeonjun has not been ringing the other boy’s alarm whenever they run into each other at the cafeteria. He was sure Beomgyu told him that the app wouldn't work if he has strong denial for his feelings, but why is it now that when he wants to make it known to Soobin that he likes the younger boy, the app refuses to cooperate? 

And has Yeonjun mentioned already that he's only been seeing Soobin at the cafeteria during breaks and lunch? Not even was it because they're sitting at the same table, but because they always happen to meet eyes when they pass by each other and Yeonjun is alone while Soobin has Heejin hanging off his shoulder.

They don't even smile at each other, they just give nods of acknowledgement. Sometimes Yeonjun just fully ignores Soobin, trying to busy himself with whatever he has on his phone, just so he wouldn't make that split second eye contact that would feel like minutes to him. It was dangerous. Literally and figuratively. Whenever the gawking was broken he'd think about it for the rest of the hour, sometimes barely dodging concrete columns and the people he passes by because he would be in deep thought.

The deep thought being Soobin and his lack of communication, and Yeonjun's dangerous imaginings of his best friend completely cutting ties with him because he had someone else he could go and spend all his time with.

"It's fine." He tells himself desperately, "I've had him for what, 5 years to myself and the moment I want him  _ only _ to myself someone gets there before me. It's fine, everything's fine."

Yeonjun thinks maybe Soobin is aware that the older boy is avoiding him. It only hurts because the latter’s never done anything to try to resolve this  _ problem _ between them. Yeonjun can only guess that maybe Soobin was giving him space to sort it himself first, but it's proving too hard to convince himself that that was the case because Soobin keeps flaunting whatever he has with that Heejin girl.

But Yeonjun also thinks that maybe this was for the best, if he was able to keep this arrangement for a while, and if he wanted to effectively get rid of his feelings for Choi Soobin. Because this was how Yeonjun always recovered from his minor crushes and infatuations, he only needed to stay away from them and then he’ll forget why he ever liked them in the first place. Soobin should hardly be an exception.

“But isn’t he your best friend?” His mind helpfully supplies.

Their nightly calls ever since they fought (well, when Yeonjun had that outburst) two weeks ago have dwindled to nothing. It only took three days after that night for the calls to finally stop. And Yeonjun minds. Oh, he minds alright. Some days in those two weeks he’d rant to Beomgyu, and sometimes he just dials him, waits for him to pick up, and cry silently. When he doesn’t speak up for a good few seconds, his cousin only asks if he’s crying and Yeonjun will grunt in confirmation before Beomgyu goes ahead and talks animatedly about his day to help take Yeonjun’s mind off his crisis. 

Until one night, Soobin finally calls him.

Yeonjun’s hand starts shaking as he comes to recognize the ringtone. He waits for three, four rings before he answers the call and decides to try to act as nonchalant as possible. He puts the call on loudspeaker because he thinks it’ll help prove his point.

“...hello?” Yeonjun speaks into the phone before putting it on top of his bedside drawer, his hands getting immediately clammy, despite Soobin not talking yet.

“Hyung,” Soobin sounds like he’s hesitating.

“Soobin? Is this you? Sorry I didn’t check the ID. What’s up?”

_ Lies. _

“Oh, well, nothing much, I think. I just wanted to call.” He replies.

“Mmh,” Yeonjun opens a notebook and flips pages loudly, “nothing’s wrong right?”

“No. Nothing’s wrong.”

“That’s good. Look, Soobin, hyung is busy. We’ll talk some other time, alright? Is that cool?”

_ Lies. _ He’s not busy at all.  _ He’d give Soobin all the time in the world if he could. _

“Oh, okay hyung. Sorry to bother you.”

“Nonsense. I have to go now, Soobin-ah. Bye~”

Yeonjun doesn’t give Soobin even a fraction of a second to reply because he’s quickly tapping the screen frantically, trying to make sure the call is ended, before he throws his phone at his bed like it’s done something to offend him. It might as well have. He couldn’t believe Soobin called him so suddenly after two weeks of just—without a single word—stopping their nightly calls.

_ Jesus Christ, _ what’s happened to him? He’d never gotten this upset and so on the verge of crying without the younger’s knowledge. They’d always tell their secrets and problems to each other.  _ Always. _

Slowly, he stands up from his chair, except he finds his knees too weak. So, he simply sinks to the floor and lies on his side. His tears finally start falling.

The carpet is scratchy against Yeonjun’s left cheek. His senses have heightened and it’s trying to keep his attention off of his chest that’s hurting and lips that are spilling quiet whimpers. He pays attention to everything that’s touching his skin, even the tears that are pooling on the carpet. He lays there for a moment. Then he wipes at his wet temple as he tries to sit up, but he just somehow cries even harder. 

He’d contemplated the possibility of him viewing this situation too intensely and dramatically, and that to Soobin, this could be nothing more than a natural occurrence. That maybe that was why it was so easy for Soobin to ignore Yeonjun all these days.

His cries that ring loud in his ears muffle the actual ringing of his phone. Yeonjun almost doesn’t notice it.

As he desperately scrambles through his thoughts, trying to decide whether he’s going to answer the call or not, he eventually misses it. He lets out a breath and wipes his tears with the palms of his hands when he thinks he’s gotten off the hook off of whoever’s calling. He knows whoever’s calling would eventually ask why he sounds like he’s been crying. And he doesn’t have the time to form a lie that would satisfy them enough. Because he had been. He’d been crying for a few minutes. 

But then the sound of his phone ringing is bouncing against the walls again and only then does he again realize that it’s Soobin’s custom ringtone. Yeonjun struggles to stand up and reach for his phone, putting his weight on his palms against his folded knees. He sniffs before swiping his screen and putting it up against his ear. He coughs twice to warm his throat, just in case.

Soobin’s voice filters through the speaker before Yeonjun could get a greeting out. “Why are you avoiding me, hyung?” 

Yeonjun draws his eyebrows together. “I’m not avoiding you.” He lies anyway.

“I talked to Beomgyu. He said you weren’t busy.”

“Yes, I am. How could he know that?” Yeonjun is partly confused. “And you know him? You even have his number?” 

“That doesn’t matter. Why are you avoiding me?” Yeonjun could see Soobin pinching his nose bridge in annoyance through the tone of his voice.

But the lies come easy now that he does it offhandedly. “I’m not fucking avoiding you, Soobin. I don’t know what you’re talking about.”

“This isn’t like tenth grade, hyung. If you have something to say to me, say it right now.”

The remark makes Yeonjun pause.

Yeonjun’s tenth grade was his loneliest year. He’d transferred to a different highschool and had no one to talk to for two months, too unaware that people had been too intimidated to approach him. He’d made a name for himself that he didn’t even know about and people recognized him yet never held conversation. He didn’t know what to do. He’d kept it hidden for a while from the younger, until Soobin started to talk more about his other friends and Yeonjun got jealous.

It was his fault that time. He didn’t tell the younger he felt so alone at school. But this time is different. Soobin had drifted away from him (sure, Yeonjun is partly to blame for it) and Yeonjun was too used to being so close to Soobin, that he didn't know anyone else he was close enough to talk to. 

He’s being selfish. He knows that.

And yet he wants to be. He wants to keep Soobin all to himself.

“I don’t have anything to say to you.” He chooses to retort.

“You don’t have anything to say, or you just don’t want to talk to me?” He doesn’t like how tight Soobin says it. It bugs his chest. Like something’s pressing down on it enough to feel like he couldn’t breathe.

_ He’d give Soobin all the time in the world if he could. _

“What’s it to you? And why are you so angry anyway? If anything, I should be the one getting angry.”

“Then tell me why, Yeonjun. Tell me why you’re avoiding me.”

“That’s hyung to you, fucking brat.”

“Hyung.” Against his will, a shiver creeps up Yeonjun’s spine. It’s been a while since he’s heard Soobin’s raw, frigid tone again. “Fucking tell me.”

But Yeonjun doesn’t want to get swayed by whatever Soobin’s trying to do. So he lets himself go and yells at the other on the phone. “I’m not avoiding you, you absolute fool. You’re the one that doesn’t have time!”

“How could I not have time?!” Soobin bellows back, Yeonjun having to pull his phone a few inches away from his ear.

Scoffing, Yeonjun puts the call on loudspeaker. His tears have been free falling for a while, Yeonjun too angry to notice it. “I’m so glad to know that my absence has been so perfectly replaced that you didn’t even realize. I have nothing more to say to you.”

His trembling hand hinders him from pressing the button to end the call a few times, hearing a “What the fuck are you talking about” before he’d finally succeeded.

Angry tears keep spilling when he finally turns his phone on Do Not Disturb and ignores all the calls he’s getting.

_ He’d give Soobin all the time in the world if he could, and he’s starting to hate it. _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hey google, how the fuck do i write angst
> 
> if u enjoyed it, please leave a kudos, maybe a comment! if also i made any errors that i failed to check, dont be shy and let me know!!
> 
> *chapter title - eternally by txt


	11. jjirit jjirit, it’s peculiar, like the flow of electricity (yeonjun's/soobin's)

He feels himself being shaken awake. Eyelids slowly fluttering open, Yeonjun could already sense that he wasn’t going to be able to open them fully. And it wasn’t because the harsh sun was already glaring through his window, but because of all the crying he did the night before that he just remembered.

But something else was bugging Yeonjun. Aside from the fact that he was _still_ being shaken awake despite it being so obvious that he already was, the sun was _too bright._ Too bright for it to be 5:30 AM, Yeonjun’s usual wake-up time during school days.

“Yeonjun hyung!” A voice cuts through the quiet room, and the two words alone are already challenging Yeonjun’s rising annoyance. “Wake up! For fuck’s sake, you didn’t even wake up in time for class.”

“WHAT?” Alarmed, he sits up, squinting his eyes in the direction of the voice, finally realizing that the voice belonged to Beomgyu. But how was he here? Didn’t he also have classes?

“It’s already past ten. Your parents left for work hours ago.”

“Oh my god,” he slams his body back against his bed and rolls over to tuck his head on the crook of his elbow.

“Hyung, don’t try to hide. Why are your eyes so puffy? Did you cry last night?”

“Yeah well, Soobin and I fought. I think I fell asleep crying.” He sighs, rolling back around, “Ah, I don’t remember much.”

“Hmm,” Beomgyu hums, tone free of judgement. “You still wanna go to school? It’s already past ten—well, not like that matters, I can give you a ride anyway.”

“I’ll just show up for the afternoon classes. If that’s okay with you? You still have classes, don’t you?” Yeonjun peels the covers off his body and slowly moves to stand.

“I’m sure my teachers won’t miss me too much if I’m gone for a few hours.” Beomgyu shrugs, sitting down on his bed when Yeonjun finally stands up from it.

“How are you even outside, by the way? And in your school uniform, no less. What a delinquent.”

“I jumped out by the soccer field. Didn’t you know I’m a parkour master?” The younger boy makes poses lying down, like the most awkward self-proclaimed parkour master in Korea, if that was even a thing.

Yeonjun would have laughed if he wasn’t in such a bad mood. All he could manage was a weak, fond smile.

“Sure. And how’d you know I wasn’t at school?” He opens his closet and takes out his uniform and a pair of socks to wear.

“Ah, that. Well I called you last night, I called you when I woke up, and I called you again on my way to school. Then I said fuck it and called Soobin, but he just said that you weren’t at morning assembly, so I called you again. And since in all of that you didn’t answer–lucky for you classes for today bore the hell out of me–I just kinda sneaked out saying I was going to the restroom and sprinted across the soccer field and jumped over the fence. Don’t I sound like such a hero?”

Yeonjun is at a loss for words. “Oh, wow. Thank you, Gyu.”

“You don’t have to mention it, I know I’m the best.” 

Yeonjun wants to smack his head, but only laughs. It takes him off guard. “Let’s go after we get lunch, is that okay? I’m seriously starving. I don’t have anyone to eat with anymore. I feel like a loser whenever I go to the caf.”

“I’ll transfer to your school, hyung. Just tell me and I’ll tell mom right now.”

This time, Yeonjun doesn’t get surprised by the smile breaking out on his face. “Dumbass. Wait here while I shower.”

\--

**_Choi Beomgyu_ **

i hope you choke, choi soobin

i told you that hyung was free so you could apologize, not fuck thigns up more

_10:31 am_

**_Soobin_ **

i’m sorry?

??? 

what

_10:33 am_

**_Choi Beomgyu_ **

go say that to Yeonjun

fucking asshole

_11:06 am_

**_Soobin_ **

i didnt do anything

what the fuck are you talking about??

he was the one who lied and avoided me

wht was I supposed to do? thank him?

and we’re friends, beomgyu, we’re not in a relationship

it’s not like fighting is so rare

_11:09 am_

**_Choi Beomgyu_ **

god have you always been this dense?

another piece of advice, soobin-ssi

dont go near him today

you’re just going to upset him

hes had enough crying 

_11:10 am_

**_Soobin_ **

he’s at school?

where is he

_11:10 am_

**_Choi Beomgyu_ **

nah

_11:17 am_

**_Soobin_ **

fuck u mean “nah”

beomgyu answer me

hey

wdym he's had enough crying

 _seen_ ✓✓ _11:19 am_

\--

During the hours that preceded Beomgyu’s first text, Soobin didn’t even _think_ that Yeonjun was crying last night, or that something other than the fight was bothering the older boy. Even when Beomgyu called him in the middle of classes and asked if he’d seen Yeonjun around. He had noticed that Yeonjun these days never goes to his first class as early as he used to before, so he simply didn’t bother with piecing together why Yeonjun is late the morning after they had a fight. 

But after this small exchange with Beomgyu, he’d started to think that maybe he should have listened to Beomgyu’s first advice of just apologizing to him. Because Soobin’s head was in the clouds and his pride had grown the longer he was apart from Yeonjun, he let himself be upset that Yeonjun was lying to him, but didn’t think that maybe there was a reason why.

Soobin doesn’t bother listening to the rest of the lesson as he leans back in his seat and lets his mind run amuck. 

When the first bell for lunch rings and Mrs. Im has dismissed them properly, Soobin is already out of the room before the teacher has even finished packing away her belongings. He’s walking as quickly as he can in the hallways, rushing to the cafeteria while trying to get Yeonjun to answer his calls. On the third attempt he knows that Yeonjun had decided to turn his phone off because Soobin is no longer hearing the ringtone but is just greeted with an automated voice saying to leave a voicemail.

A nervous wreck, he camps at the cafeteria, attracting attention as he’s just stood there like an idiot, evidently looking and waiting for someone. Tall, popular boy, hands mildly shaking if you looked carefully enough, and eyes going in and out of focus camping at the cafeteria, not even there to buy anything.

It had just properly dawned on him, when he was on his way there, that Yeonjun was crying and it was because of him. He’s so guilty but he doesn’t even know what he’s done. They’d never been apart this long before, and Soobin had never been so out of touch with Yeonjun for him to just completely miss something as big as Yeonjun crying.

Of all the times that they were together, Soobin had never seen Yeonjun cry.

He’s only known that he did, well, does. Yeonjun only tells him that “of course I’ve cried before, stupid”, because hyung was a human with feelings too. Soobin doesn’t know why he forgets that.

All Soobin knows is that he’s royally fucked.

“Soobin!” _Oh, it’s Heejin_. She approaches him carefully. “What’s up? Why do you look so nervous?”

“I’m waiting for Yeonjun hyung, Heejin-ah.”

“Why?” She asks, motioning to her other friends not to wait for her and go ahead inside.

“I have to tell him something.”

Heejin cocks her head to the side, like a dog. Soobin internally laughs. “Why not just text him? Did you guys fight, then? I’m betting all my allowance that it’s your fault, Soobin-ah.”

“I guess you’re not wrong,” He mumbles to himself, then answering properly. “Yeah, last night.”

“Well, I saw him walk to his classroom earlier. His eyes looked so puffy that people were already talking about it. I swear everyone’s so involved in gossip nowadays–” She pauses, like she’s just realized something, then slowly turns her head to Soobin. “Choi Soobin, did you make Yeonjun sunbae cry?”

Honestly speaking, Soobin should be the one indignant at himself in this conversation, but he guesses Heejin can do that too. “I did, oh my god Heejin-ah I fucked up.”

“Well, I don’t know what the hell happened to you two but I’m very inclined to agree. Go run to him now, idiot. And say sorry for whatever you did.” She shoves his arm to get him to move.

“I’ll try to see if I can walk you home later. See you!” Soobin moves to run back to their building.

“Stop running away and walk _him_ home, coward! And tell me how it goes!”

Soobin is rushing again and in no time is outside 12-A’s classroom. He tries calling for Yeonjun but he only gets ignored in return. Soobin admits it stings quite a bit.

\--

Yeonjun is _very aware_ that Soobin is outside the classroom right now. But he is physically incapable of getting himself to get up and talk to him. He was too embarrassed when he found out Beomgyu had told Soobin he cried. _Holy shit_ he can’t face him right now.

So he just waits for him to go away while he buries his face in his arms the entire time. Soobin is obviously going to misunderstand his avoidance, but that was fine, whatever. He doesn’t care about that right now. He has frankly, more pressing matters to handle, like how he was going to properly explain why his eyes are puffy as all hell to their teacher. What bad timing that Yeonjun was so friendly to Mr. Seol who was teaching the subject after lunch.

When his classes for the afternoon end, Yeonjun tries to stay as inconspicuous as he could manage while walking out of the school. He keeps his gaze down to blend in more with the throng of students rushing out the gates. Soobin is looking for him, he’s sure about that. He’s just thankful he hasn’t seen him anywhere for now, but he also admits that he gets a bit sad by that.

Yeonjun convinces himself that this was better, and that god forbid the younger was at his house. He heads for the bus stop with the thought in his mind.

“Ah,” Yeonjun stops in the middle of the sidewalk, stumbling upon a realization. “He’s probably walking Heejin home. Great. Never thought I’d become a loner even with Soobin in the same school. Cool. Rad. Fucking fantastic.” He kicks a stray pebble in frustration and continues walking.

He reaches the bus stop and sees a few other students also waiting. He stands a few feet away from the crowd and stuffs his hands in his pockets. When his bus arrives, he gets on, and by some form of mockery from the universe, he hears the too-familiar ping of the Love Alarm again. He doesn’t bother checking his own phone for notifications anymore. Yeonjun had already turned his off ever since he didn’t ring Soobin’s. There was no point. It was only going to attract unnecessary attention. He only ever had the app because of Soobin anyway.

Finding an empty seat, he immediately goes over to sit and close his eyes, waiting for all the passengers to get on and for the bus to finally move. And dear god, he needed to stop thinking about Soobin.

His stop comes earlier than he notices, and he almost forgets to push the button to get off. Thankfully someone else had done it before him.

Walking again, Yeonjun thinks he’s exerting more physical effort to stop thinking about Soobin than walking itself, because he’d been clenching and unclenching his fists ever since he got off the bus and cracking his knuckles every now and then. Just fidgeting, in general. How lame of him. It's been a while since he's been this anxious.

Yeonjun thinks that there must be other distractions than possibly hurting himself from these repetitive actions, so he takes his phone out of his pocket to look for something to do. Anything other than walking quietly alone with his thoughts.

A thought comes to him suddenly, when he sees the Love Alarm icon on his homescreen. What if he turned it on on the way to the library later? Maybe he’ll get his ego boosted this time rather than get indirectly rejected. _Ah_ , he should do it right now in case he forgets.

He waits for the app to load, focusing on where he’s walking to in the meantime. Then, something catches his attention immediately. One lone heart that’s not his own on the screen.

“One?” Oh, _hello._ Yeonjun looks up from his phone screen to see that he was already in his neighborhood. _Huh_ , which one of my neighbors–

“I knew it.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> so, uhm, there's that
> 
> *chapter title - poppin' star by txt [aka my literal favorite]


	12. i like the feeling of being with you (soobin's)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this is soobin's POV from a chapter of the same title ^3^

Soobin pedals briskly for a few cycles then stops, letting the momentum carry him along the bike path by the river. Yeonjun was somewhere behind him, also on his bike. He looks back to check on the older boy and sees him quite far behind, so he eases a little bit on how hard he was going on the pedals, letting the older catch up a bit.

While he waits for Yeonjun to get closer to him, Soobin looks to his left and observes the waters. He gets mildly dazed from turning his head towards the front then to his side, back and forth, so he decides to gently pull on the break and stop near the fence to properly gaze quietly upon the sunlight reflecting on the river.

He feels a cyclist pass by him and the familiar smell of sweet cologne on his nostrils, so he follows the movement and correctly guesses that it was Yeonjun, looking like he was on autopilot. Soobin chuckles lightly and turns his head back to the river, opting to stay quiet rather than call the older boy and tell him to stop. Yeonjun was going to be fine, he thinks, _I’m sure he’s not gonna go that far before he notices._

It was only a few moments before he felt Yeonjun’s presence near him. He sneaks a peek and sees him also staring at where Soobin had kept his attention earlier. He fights a smile trying to break his deadpan expression.

Soobin doesn’t make anything of it for now and lets the moments go by him undisturbed, merely sneaking peeks at the boy beside him.

\--

Four days after the bike ride, Soobin texts Yeonjun that he wants to head over to the elder's house to hold that movie night that they planned.

When Yeonjun texts an ‘okay be safe on ur way’, Soobin is immediately out of his bed and rushing into the bathroom to shower. Even he could notice that there was a significant difference in how he prepared to meet Yeonjun these days, compared to how he used to, even just a few months ago. Soobin wanted to blame it on puberty making him more conscious of how he looks, but he’s already pushing 18 and he’s not sure if that was still a valid excuse.

That one day in summer, when he went over to Yeonjun’s, he’d impulsively made the decision to get an undercut the afternoon before and bought a hairbrush that was for himself only. Like personal use. A comb. Soobin never brushed his hair properly without a nagging from his mom and older sister before it. He’d gone to school all this time just with running his fingers through the locks and deeming that okay for the eyes.

(Nobody stopped him or even brought up the topic, until he just developed a habit of pushing his hair away any time one of his hands were free.)

When he goes out in just a towel, he hurriedly goes through his new t shirts. The current frenzy of rummaging through his closet partly because of the chill in his room, and partly because he doesn’t know what to wear. He settles for a familiar black tee and hoodie anyway, not wanting to seem like he thought of his outfit for too long when he was just going over to watch movies with his best friend.

Soobin’s ears warm against his own wishes. He shakes his head rapidly and slaps his cheeks a few times.

He lets himself inside Yeonjun’s house, confidently shouting a “honey, I’m home!’ from the doorway while taking off his shoes. He steps quickly onto the slides and hurries to the older boy’s bedroom, opening the door by just a small bit, catching a glimpse of Yeonjun hurriedly clearing the contents of his bed. Soobin doesn’t know what part of whatever the older boy did that moved his heart in a different way, so he just brushes the thought aside and opens the bedroom door fully and runs to jump on the bouncy mattress.

But the thought lingers, as Yeonjun pulls at Soobin’s arm to get him to stand and help with setting up the makeshift tent. Every quiet second that is spared to Soobin, his mind spends it thinking even more about the boy beside him and how that one innocent tug at his arm burned and meant something else to Soobin. He doesn’t enjoy doing it, but he couldn’t help but go along with it.

Soon the blankets are up and Soobin has placed the mandatory fairy lights upon the roof of their tent and plugged them in. Soobin tries not to come off as nervous in front of the elder, although he is feeling exactly that. 

Soobin opens Yeonjun’s Netflix on his laptop and searches for Howl’s Moving Castle. He thanks himself for actually remembering to make a list ahead of time so he wouldn’t be scrambling so much, trying to decide what movie to put on.

“Oh, cool. Howl’s Moving Castle. I haven’t actually seen it before.” Yeonjun suddenly tells him when he gets back from locking up the house. His parents were out and wouldn’t be back until early tomorrow morning, leaving him in charge of everything just until they get back.

Soobin’s eyes grow impossibly wide and he’s sure his face is showing his incredulity at the older boy’s revelation. “You’re kidding me, right? You have to be.”

Yeonjun’s eyes start shaking and Soobin almost laughs at his unfiltered nervousness. “Um, I- I, Choi Yeonjun, have truly not seen this film before.”

“I’m revoking our friendship. I don’t know a ‘Choi Yeonjun’.” Soobin jokingly moves to walk out of the room, barely keeping himself from breaking out into a fit of laughter.

“Hey! Come ooonnnn- I don’t watch anime in my free time! You can’t seriously be cutting off our friendship with this.” He whines, like a hungry baby. Soobin wants to squeeze his cheeks even though his back is still facing the older.

“Alright.” Soobin crosses his arms. “I’ll forgive this shortcoming just because I like you. Now you have to make it up to me by concentrating on the movie.” Soobin turns back around and is greeted with Yeonjun’s perfect imitation of puppy eyes (with an added bonus of glossy, pouty lips). It almost freezes him in his spot, but he’s quick to hide his small blooper with a chuckle. “I’m kidding, hyung. I’m not actually _that_ mad at you. A little bit, maybe.”

Yeonjun’s frown deepens.

“Let’s just watch the movie, okay?” Soobin offers a compromise and sits beside Yeonjun. “We’ll still be friends after this, don’t worry.”

Soobin lies on his back, his head against two fluffy pillows stacked over each other. He pulls Yeonjun’s shoulder so the elder would also lie on his back beside Soobin, instead of just following him with his gaze and frown. Soobin gives him a small smile before sitting up for a second to press play, and lying back down.

A few minutes into the film, Soobin finally gets up from his place, saying that he was going to the toilet. He had been fidgeting for a good part of the movie, mostly because he was too busy contemplating whether to be reckless and rest his head on Yeonjun’s chest or just not do it at all. He steps outside the bedroom and closes the door behind him, exhaling out a deep breath. He shakes his hands beside him and slaps his face a few times for good measure. He wasn’t actually going to the toilet. He simply needed an excuse to be away for a little while and calm his beating heart. 

And maybe finally decide what he wants to do when he gets back to Yeonjun.

Soobin goes to the toilet to wash his hands anyway, to make it at least look like he’s spent all that time peeing. After he’s wiped his hands partly dry, he goes back to the room, still feeling nervous, however ultimately making up his mind.

Wordlessly he lies down by Yeonjun’s right side. And just like he rehearsed in his mind, he sits back up to press play and lies down again, only this time his head was finally against Yeonjun’s chest.

That was it. He’s emptied his thoughts and let his body move on autopilot to get to this moment. He admits that perhaps this was a bold move, considering all the feelings that gnawed at his heart and thoughts, and the times where his face warmed against his wishes. And yet, despite Soobin being overly conscious of what he did to get to this situation, he doesn’t exactly know what to do next.

He’s suddenly too aware of his awkward hands clasped in front of him, moving them about to try and find a position that didn’t give away his shaky demeanor. At last, he opts to drape his right arm across Yeonjun’s abdomen, mindlessly playing with the hem of the latter’s pajama top. 

“Hyung, you can still see the movie, right?” He asks him, slightly worried whether Yeonjun had a good view of the screen or not. 

He thinks Yeonjun is nodding his head when he feels a little movement from behind him, so Soobin just hums and goes back to trying to concentrate on the film, fingers still worrying the seam on Yeonjun’s pajamas. 

The film finishes and Soobin is admittedly very close to falling asleep, but he blinks a couple of times before sitting up to face Yeonjun and ask how the movie was, just so it wasn’t obvious that he was close to hibernating. Soobin is met with a smile and a “Are there other movies like this? I liked it. Like, a lot”. Soobin is glad that Yeonjun enjoyed the movie. He smiles back at him.

Soobin suggests watching Ponyo, wanting to continue this warm atmosphere with another animated movie that he adored. Yeonjun nods and searches up the movie himself, while Soobin gets comfortable once again on his back. He decides that whatever that was was enough for the day, and if something like that happens again, in the same night, he would probably lose his ability to sleep.

The gods probably didn’t hear that last part. About not being able to sleep.

After Yeonjun presses play, it’s his head this time that’s already against Soobin’s chest, in the same position Soobin was just minutes ago; left arm across Soobin’s stomach, fingers _thankfully_ not playing with the younger’s t shirt.

Strangely, Soobin still feels drowsy. His heart wasn’t beating as fast as he expected it to. Instead, he feels safe and cozy, like he had a dog sleeping beside him. It doesn’t help his present sleepy state at all.

The last thing Soobin remembers before he falls asleep is seeing his hand placed atop the other boy’s hair, softly playing with the strands.

\--

Soobin wakes up first, still feeling slightly disoriented. Carefully, he sits up, rubbing the sleep out of his eyes while he looks around where he is.

He spots Yeonjun to his right, still asleep and the fort still holding up. He laughs quietly when he realizes that he’d fallen asleep in the middle of watching a movie. Soobin looks for the laptop and his phone inside the small space, but they’re nowhere to be found, so he rises as gingerly as he could, peeling the covers off his body, trying not to wake the other boy. He finds his phone easily, placed on top of Yeonjun’s laptop that’s placed on top of his study table. Soobin grabs his phone and goes back to the warmth of their little area, still moving around slowly and quietly. He freezes for a second when Yeonjun suddenly changes positions and is now facing Soobin’s place. Thankfully the elder was still asleep. Soobin lies back down and covers himself again with his blanket.

He doesn’t realize he’s already so close to Yeonjun, that it surprises him a bit when he settles on his side to face the elder. This time, Soobin doesn’t try to hide his state of wordlessness, he just takes that time to freely admire Yeonjun’s sleeping face.

But then his heart starts beating too loudly in his ears. He feels his blood pulsing, as bizarre as that sounded, and he feels his cheeks warm again. He pulls away and the distance between them widens, the abruptness of it almost like Soobin accidentally touching a burning surface. He lies on his back, calming his heartbeat and taking a few deep breaths.

When he’s deemed himself calm enough, he gently pushes himself up to rest his back against the wall to his right, maintaining the distance until he’s fully calmed down and his mind is no longer running wildly. He sits in the quiet for a moment.

Soobin opens his phone camera and takes a few photos of Yeonjun’s adorable sleeping face to tease him with it later, placing the camera near to his face and taking it from every angle Soobin could think of. Then, unknowingly, he starts taking good photos of Yeonjun (still sleeping), even reaching over to switch on the fairy lights to give a slight glow to the area. 

What baffles him the most, thinking back, is how smooth it was for him to find the best photo he could find of Yeonjun and turn it into his lockscreen.

As if sensing what Soobin is doing in secret, Yeonjun stirs in his sleep, then slowly wakes up, asking Soobin with closed eyes and a rough voice, “Why are we back in my room? Where’s the shoelace woman?”

Soobin almost laughs out loud, but keeps it in his throat, instead telling Yeonjun to go back to sleep. Yeonjun hums and does exactly that. 

Yeonjun wakes up around half an hour later, with Soobin already awake and scrolling through his phone.

They watch the next four movies on Soobin’s list, coincidentally finishing at lunch time. Slowly, they get up and begin taking the tent down, unplugging the fairy lights, then dusting the sheets and blankets before folding them neatly and storing them away in Yeonjun’s closet for bed linens.

“Hyung,” Soobin starts.

“Yeah?”

“Have I told you you’re like a grandma?”

Yeonjun only stares at him in part confusion, part annoyance.

“You have so many blankets, and you have a closet just for the extra ones. Don’t tell me you haven’t thought about it.” Soobin smiles teasingly. Yeonjun only sticks his tongue out as his response.

After a hefty meal from Yeonjun’s mother, Soobin is ready to start the walk back to his house. He’s already done wearing his socks when his mom calls, asking if he wanted to be picked up. Soobin says yes instantly.

“Yah,” Yeonjun smacks his arm lightly, after Soobin ended the call, “Would it hurt you if you walked?”

“It wouldn’t, but a car is there for use so why not use it, you know?”

Soobin only laughs as Yeonjun looks like he’s about to start chasing the younger down the street.

They’re bidding their goodbyes a few minutes later, Soobin waving from the open window of the passenger seat, and Yeonjun doing weird dances from the doorway, watching Soobin’s family car pull out of the driveway. Soobin discreetly pulls his phone out and swipes to the camera, quickly taking a few snaps of the older boy in poses, before he’s being shouted at by him. Soobin is still laughing as he finally settles against the seat and closes the window. It almost seemed like all he did the entire time was laugh at Yeonjun.

“Had fun?” His mom asks. Soobin nods, giving her a smile.

“I’m sure the boy on your lockscreen had fun too.” She smiles back at him, before turning her head towards the road again.

Soobin takes a second to try and process what he’s just heard, before scrambling to get his phone out and turning it on, indeed being greeted by Yeonjun’s sleeping face illuminated by a soft yellow light. Soobin squeaks as he whips his head to his mother who’s just smiling so widely looking at the road.

“H-How’d you know?” Soobin, in a small voice, asks.

“I saw it earlier when you placed your phone on the console.”

Soobin stays quiet. His mother chuckles again.

“Does he know you like him?” She asks.

“Mom!” Soobin is feeling too exposed right now. “I don’t like him!”

“Oh, come on bunny. If I had a phone when I was younger, I wouldn’t set my friends as my lockscreen just because.”

“Mom, please-”

“Having someone as a lockscreen is so sweet, don’t you think so? It’s like putting someone’s picture on a locket-”

“Mom, if you don’t stop talking right now I will jump out of this car.” Soobin cuts her off, his words muffled from his hands desperately covering his reddening face.

“We can’t have that now, can we? Yeonjun would be so sad.” Soobin thinks he’s never heard his mother laugh this much before. He groans loudly. “Okay, okay I’ll stop now. You look like a ripe tomato.” She says finally.

Soobin can’t wait to get home. 

\--

Two days before the cafe, bookshop, whatever date meeting they had, he’d already contacted Taehyun to help him with his outfit.

“Hyung, if you think you’re unfashionable, what am I then?” Taehyun says, but he was still helpful nonetheless, telling Soobin that he would look good if he wore the yellow denim coat his sister bought for him just a few days ago paired with an all black fit underneath. Soobin listened of course, because he had nothing else he could think of.

Now, he stood in front of his dresser and mirror in a black t shirt, black jeans, his yellow coat, and his trusty Vans, an almost 6 feet being of nervous energy picking at the dead skin around his fingernails. He keeps checking the time every minute, wondering why his time felt like it was moving so fast when he’s watching the seconds crawl.

Even as he thought that the time was moving so slowly, he idled on his bed, reading updates of the webtoons he was keeping track of. He almost misses the time when he gets too engrossed in a new one he’s opened, hurriedly texting Yeonjun that he was on his way to the station. 

\-- 

They were essentially kicked out of the cafe a few minutes ago, because they let the time pass unknowingly, just simply talking their mouths off. The two never noticed the other customers slowly leaving one at a time because of their place on the open second floor. Soobin silently thanks the workers for noticing they were still upstairs.

When Soobin is met with the cold air, he instinctively sneaks his hands inside his coat pockets and curls in on himself, then thinking afterward of taking it off and giving it to Yeonjun because of his meager t shirt.

The important thing was that Soobin didn’t give in to what he wanted, because if he did, he’d be beating himself up for days thinking if what he did would mean something. The dilemma amplified with Soobin’s conflicting feelings, he still stands by his decision of keeping the yellow coat to himself, even if it still ate away at him.

Moments later, Soobin thinks it was silly of him to think about how to warm Yeonjun up with his coat, when here the older boy was, taking Soobin’s slightly larger hands in his own.

This was a problem, of course, the intensity rising slowly as Yeonjun swings their intertwined hands back and forth, letting Soobin guide them to the station. Silence envelops the two as they continue walking on the damp sidewalk illuminated by the soft yellow glow of the streetlights. 

It seemed like every time he was with Yeonjun now, yellow lights glowed beautifully, just like Yeonjun.

Maybe this was the perfect time to think about whether he liked Yeonjun or not, listening to the beat of his heart. But he feels it rather than hear. Soobin is late to understand why he didn’t notice the rapid beating of his heart earlier than this. He thinks he could be in potential danger, because Yeonjun’s head was inching closer and closer to his shoulder, and Soobin’s heart was beating so hard that he was afraid everyone within a meter would hear it clearly.

Soobin’s train of thought gets interrupted when Yeonjun is suddenly shaking his head so hard that they’d momentarily stopped walking. Soobin was about to think that he was safe and Yeonjun was going to let go of his hand, but he didn’t, and Yeonjun had finally set his head against Soobin’s shoulder, slowing them down even more.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> thoughts? lol  
> if there were errors that i failed to notice *slides 50 cents on the table* tell me, dont be shy  
> kudos and comments are appreciated!
> 
> *chapter title: just dance - jhope (bts)


	13. my mind that's stuck in a nostalgic maze (soobin's)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> soobin's POV from a chapter of the same title

Honestly speaking, Soobin thinks he’s made a mistake this time, as he anxiously waits for Yeonjun’s Love Alarm to finish loading. 

He’s realized a little too late that he’s been too confident in thinking that Yeonjun liked him back, even just a little bit. Over the few months after that summer he spent with the boy now in front of him, he’d figured out that he likes Yeonjun (quite quickly, embarrassingly enough). With the thought in his mind, he’d inadvertently assigned meaning to everything Yeonjun did. Even Yeonjun’s initial and previous avoidance of downloading the app, Soobin assumed that it was because of him.

Soobin is delusional. Don’t worry, he  _ knows _ .

So, as he is finally faced with Yeonjun’s phone screen showing the loading screen and the few people in the room with their phones out, Soobin quietly hopes that he rings Yeonjun’s Love Alarm, and that Yeonjun rings his too.

Admittedly, the cafeteria wasn’t the best place to agree to doing this. He’d just said yes immediately without thinking that maybe it’d be more difficult to tell if he did ring Yeonjun’s or not. But no matter, Soobin has set his Love Alarm to vibrate only, so that if Yeonjun does or doesn’t ring his, only he would know.

Then, as if it was a part of some twisted joke, Soobin doesn’t feel any vibration nor any ringing that may have come from his back pocket. As he exclaims the number of hearts he sees on Yeonjun’s phone, he couldn’t help but feel his enthusiasm significantly die down.

When Yeonjun asks for his phone, Soobin doesn’t even think of anything anymore and just hands it over. If Yeonjun didn’t ring Soobin’s Love Alarm when the younger has thought so highly of the older boy’s feelings, then maybe Soobin didn’t ring Yeonjun’s also. He expresses his distaste when he sees the number of people who like him, thinking how unfortunate it was that Yeonjun wasn’t one of them.

He leaves his phone with Yeonjun as he wordlessly goes to the counter to buy for the both of them, thinking that maybe he looks like a robot with how he moves almost methodically. Even when he goes back to Yeonjun to give him his share of food and to get his phone back, he doesn’t remember much of how he moved and did, doesn’t even remember if he unintentionally ignored someone along the way.

They walk out of the cafeteria, not sharing a single word between them. Soobin falls back in his steps once in a while, and Yeonjun is patient and doesn’t ask why as he silently waits for him to catch up. 

Truthfully, Soobin was doing it on purpose.

He pats his pockets to look for his phone and realizes that it’s been in his hand the whole time. Hurriedly he unlocks it and opens Love Alarm, glancing once at Yeonjun to confirm that he was still facing forward and not paying attention to Soobin. 

He hopes that Yeonjun’s Love Alarm was still on, as he tries to slow his steps to get out of the estimated 10m distance. Then, he taps the screen once to turn Love Alarm on, and walks closer to him. When he hears a familiar ring coming from Yeonjun his eyes widen involuntarily. Even as he tries it a few more times (he probably looked like a fool doing so) it was still unmistakeable, the sound still raw in his mind. 

Soobin decides to pocket his phone without turning it off and hurries toward Yeonjun who’s waiting silently for him, and asking to borrow his phone. Yeonjun hands it over without saying anything. Soobin is now faced with another problem: how was he going to test out Yeonjun’s Love Alarm without him knowing? 

Quite fortunately for Soobin, Yeonjun excuses himself to the restroom and Soobin is left alone in the hallway. Quickly he swipes the screen and unlocks it, going directly to the app and testing whether it rings or not.

Yeonjun’s phone  _ does _ ring, and Soobin’s doesn’t, and frankly that’s all the confirmation he needed.

In spite of all the previous bouts of courage and confident assumptions that helped him convince Yeonjun to download it again, it all seemed to fly out the window now that he’s finally discovered that he likes Yeonjun, but that the older boy does not return his feelings. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> omg last chapter next


	14. we should just kiss like real people do

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> * chapter title - like real people do by hozier

_ “One?” Oh,  _ hello _. Yeonjun looks up from his phone screen to see that he was already in his neighborhood.  _ Huh, _ which one of my neighbors– _

_ “I knew it.” _

Yeonjun turns around to face the voice that he’s all too familiar with and doesn’t even bother to hide the surprise and slight annoyance in his features. “Soobin? What do you mean- What are you talking about? Why are you even here?”

Soobin takes a few steps to get closer to Yeonjun, suddenly blurting out a deafeningly loud “I like you.”

Yeonjun felt like someone hit the back of his knees to make him lose his balance, as he steps back and his mind clears itself of all other thoughts, replacing it with  _ I like you I like you I like you Soobin likes you Soobin likes me I like you Soobin likes you I like you I like you I like you I like you Soobin likes me Soobin likes me Soobin likes me Soobin likes me Soobin likes me _ and all he could pull from his throat and through his teeth is, “Huh?”

“I like you, hyung. I rang your Love Alarm.” Soobin states, as if it were the simplest thing in the world.

Yeonjun shakes his head, not taking his eyes off Soobin who’s staring right back at him, “This cannot be you. I refuse to believe it is.”

“But it is.” Soobin smiles kindly, if that was how it could be described. “Hyung, I’ve rang it three separate times.”

“What? When?”

“The first one was at the cafeteria, you remember that?”

“Oh, you—” Yeonjun is at a loss of words again, “you rang my Love Alarm there? I suppose I didn’t check if you rang mine then.”

“I guess. When we were going back to the classroom that time I fell back in my steps a bit and rang it a few times to make sure. And well, the third time was just now.”

Just when Yeonjun was about to feel giddy at Soobin admitting his feelings towards him, his mind then helpfully supplies that Jeon Heejin still existed and that even if Soobin does like him, they  _ could _ be together already. And Yeonjun just thinks that’s messed up.

“But- aren’t you with Heejin? Are you playing with me right now, Choi Soobin? Really? Exactly on the day I’ve felt like shit the most?” Yeonjun waits for a few seconds for Soobin to respond, but the younger boy is just stumbling over air, opening and closing his mouth a few times. When thinks that Soobin really doesn’t have anything to say, Yeonjun quickly walks away and doesn’t spare a single glance behind him.

But even if he couldn’t see behind him, he gets the feeling that Soobin is following after him. Yeonjun quickly shakes the thought out and blames it on his stupid daydream of Soobin chasing after him. Because if he actually  _ is _ following him, then does that mean Soobin wasn’t joking?

The slight confusion is solved rather quickly, when Soobin calls out after him. “Hyung, please. We need to talk.”

Yeonjun is stubborn, though. “No, we don’t. Stop following me.”

“We have to! I like you! Yeonjun! I like you!” Soobin shouts.

Yeonjun feels his face heat up embarrassingly fast and he hurries back to Soobin to clamp his mouth shut before the younger boy could shout louder than he just did.

“You! Shut up! The neighbors-oh god the neighbors heard that. Why are you so damn loud—”

\--

Soobin had, fortunately, stopped screaming as Yeonjun firmly dragged him to his house and away from the street. Feeling somewhat happy that the younger boy had revealed his feelings for him, Yeonjun still couldn’t get rid of the feeling that it was a bit strange that this was happening now, in the middle of a street,  _ in his neighborhood _ no less.

Yeonjun had to push Soobin inside before the latter could even think of screaming ‘I like you’ again and Yeonjun's face unavoidably turns an embarrassing shade of red. When they get inside Yeonjun’s room Soobin doesn’t even move to leap on the bed like he always does, instead he just pulls out the chair on Yeonjun’s dresser and sits on it, leaving Yeonjun to take a seat on the bed.

“Why are you so quiet all of a sudden?” Yeonjun asks. “You were so bold out there and now that there’s only two of us you won’t even sit beside me?”

Yeonjun didn’t mean for it to sound rude but he takes a guess that it came out that way anyway, because Soobin still refuses to meet his eyes and talk.

“The grandma across the street probably heard your confession, you know? The gossip-y grandma.”

“I’m sorry.” Soobin starts. “I hope you understand I’m not joking, hyung.”

“But Heejin? You guys are dating! You even forgot about me!” Yeonjun couldn’t help but bellow, even thinking about it now irks him slightly. 

“Hyung, please just listen to me.”

Yeonjun stays quiet.

“I’ll take that as a yes, then?” Soobin asks.

Yeonjun nods wordlessly. Soobin finally goes over and sits next to him, taking his hand and interlacing their fingers together.  _ Soobin’s hand is cold _ , Yeonjun notices, his fingertips slightly red and the back of his palms too dry.

“Okay. Alright, um—” Soobin stutters, nervously picking at the dead skin around the fingernails of his free hand, “Oh, god— this is so difficult, hyung.”

Not meeting his eyes, Yeonjun squeezes his hand mindlessly, like it was an instinct to reassure Soobin at all times. He wouldn’t be surprised if it was.

“I like you.” He starts, “I really like you. And I had an inkling that you liked me back. So I—uh—pressured you into downloading the app. Well, um, ahem—” It’s almost comical how nervous Soobin is. Still, he looked adorable. Yeonjun bites back a smile. “—you might ask when I started liking you. I don’t think I can tell. Um—well—I knew when we were walking back from that coffee shop last summer, I felt hot all over and my heart was beating so fast. At that point I thought, yeah, maybe I do like dudes or maybe I just liked you, I don’t know how that stuff works. But when I found out you didn’t ring my Love Alarm, I was absurdly bummed out. Like, I treated it as a rejection, basically. I guess it was my fault— no, it  _ is _ my fault. I got my hopes up because I thought you liked me back.”

Yeonjun keeps his gaze focused on their hands and says nothing for a few seconds, brooding over everything Soobin just said, so he could say the right thing. “I thought so, too,” he decides to say.

Soobin continues, “Heejin came and asked me on a date and I thought maybe it’ll take my mind off of, well, you know. It didn’t really do anything to help with the, uh, situation. And Heejin’s really nice—” He stops speaking when Yeonjun glares at him, the first time he’s looked him in the eyes since they’ve arrived at his house.

Soobin smiles for the first time too, or that’s what Yeonjun thinks at least, since he’s never actually looked at Soobin’s face. “Oh please, it’s you that I like, hyung.”

“And Heejin? What’s she going to think?” Yeonjun asks.

“I dunno. Do you wanna go out with me?” Soobin is making that face again. That face where he looks cocky and has an eyebrow raised, like he’s challenging Yeonjun with a sweet close-lipped smile on his face. It only looks gorgeous in the afternoon sunlight that penetrates the room.

Then Yeonjun’s head empties and his mouth drops open slightly. “Huh?”

“I never rang her Love Alarm.” Soobin adds, and Yeonjun might have actually lost it.

Yeonjun’s mouth drops open a bit more and his eyebrows furrow, the confusion now evident on his features. He says the only thing he can think of, “You’re cruel.”

“She knows, hyung.” Soobin says nonchalantly.

“That you’re cruel?”

“She knows I like you.”

Yeonjun closes his mouth to swallow dryly and looks bewilderedly at Soobin. He stays quiet.

Soobin continues. “Hyung, seriously, I’m sorry for neglecting you. I don’t know if I really meant to do it or not. I’m really sorry. How do I make it up to you? I’ll do anything.”

“Then let's do what you said earlier.” Yeonjun finally finds his words, after moments of only staring quietly at Soobin. “Go on a date with me.” He thinks his happiness about rendering Soobin speechless is a bit trivial, but it makes him glad, and he smiles widely anyway. He searches Soobin’s face for any sign of uneasiness, but doesn’t find any. There’s only pure surprise and delight.

“I’m sorry, what?” Soobin asks.

“I like you.” Yeonjun replies simply.  _ It’s Soobin’s time to be dumbstruck, _ he thinks.

“I’m—you do?”

“Yeah.”

“Like, seriously? You’re not kidding?” Soobin looks like he’s about to laugh.

So Yeonjun thinks of something to tease Soobin with and that would turn him red. “No, I like you and I want to do things to you, like right now.”

It seems to do the trick, as Soobin opens and closes his mouth a few times, still not a word coming out of his mouth. Yeonjun raises his eyebrows expectantly at him, leaning ever closer to him, while Soobin leans away. 

“Woah, hyung, let’s keep it PG. Just because your parents aren’t home yet doesn’t mean we have to fulfill the stereoty—”

Yeonjun shuts him up. He reaches for Soobin’s nape and pulls him closer, closing his eyes as Soobin’s own widens, finally connecting their lips.

They pull apart after a few seconds, Soobin still frozen, lips ajar. Yeonjun giggles and licks his own lips, amused at spotting Soobin’s eyes following the small movement.

That’s why he crashes their lips together again, Yeonjun’s lips, this time, softly moving against Soobin’s, pushing firmer against him when Soobin doesn’t show any sign of taking the lead.

Yeonjun never thought he’d feel this intensely about kissing Soobin before. He gets the urge to keep running his palms all over the younger’s body, to keep feeling his little exhales against his face, but he still carries a sliver of sanity so he grounds his hands in Soobin’s hair, grasping gently at the strands to stop them from wandering.

They aren’t even more than an inch apart when Yeonjun finally, breathlessly, asks Soobin, “Hey, can I be your boyfriend?”

Soobin beams at him, then smirks, “Sure. I don’t see why not.”

Yeonjun laughs. Soobin laughs along with him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> my god. it's done.
> 
> if you've been patiently waiting for my lethargic ass to finally finish this fic after all these months, thank you very much! it's such a weird feeling to have people read my work sjsjdhdj though i do want to edit some things here and there, i dont think i will do anything of the sort. i will learn from my previous works to give you something even better in quality!
> 
> thank you for reading this far! seriously. if u wanna talk, u can find and dm me on twt, i'd like to be friends >3< i'm @taehuening
> 
> p.s and oh! holy shit. love alarm season 2 is finally, almost here. march 12. can u believe. so close to the uploading of this last chapter.
> 
> see u all in my next work maybe (?)


End file.
